Act On 9/11
There is/was an add on tv for Impulse body and arse spray for women. I haven’t seen it in a while but it was basically something like this: a woman driving a bus sees a baseball player on tv, drives like mad, crashes into the stadium, drives up beside the guy and cocks an eye at him. This add left me bewildered when I saw it. All I can presume is that the concept where a female pilot crashes her plane into a New York sky scraper just to wink at a guy in a suit behind a desk came a close second.
Stormont Shuffle
The iPod Shuffle is a nifty device, which was actually devised by existing iPod owners! Owners wrote to Apple demanding a cheaper mp3 player without a screen, saying that they had gotten used to not seeing the screen of their iPod whilst they were busy butt fucking themselves with it!
Pull me off
There’s an add for Lucozade Sport on tv; what I don’t get is why they show a jock pulling up the spouty thing on the top with his teeth even though there’s an explicate warning on the bottle not to do so.
VAT @ 21%
When listening to the news you will often hear, “Cost the government” or “cost the tax payer”. These fundamentally mean the same thing but saying that a project will “Cost the tax payer” is broadcast speak for signalling that the topic will cover the airwaves for at least a week, within which countless argumentative phone calls, spasmodic interviews and granny letters being read out will fill every minute of airtime. After about 2 weeks, the phrase “cost the tax payer” is replaced by “cost the government” and the topic is forgotten about.
Face Lifts
The amazing thing about a face lift is, while they may make you look younger they never actually make you look as you did when you were younger!
The wheels on the bus go round and round ...
Seatbelts are great and all but that bus accident wouldn’t have happened on a dual carriageway.
Riemanns Cut
I found a Word file I was adding to over the past few months:
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Painkillers don’t numb pain; rather, they induce a hallucinogenic state of well being.
If God is everything then God is gay; and if God is gay where does that leave the Catholic Church.
Spuds make a good substitute for potatoes.
Money is like a financial currency.
MS Word is great!!! It suggests that “well being” should be “well-being” but as soon as it corrects it to “well-being” it suggests that it should be “well being”. Correcting this back and fort is a great way to pass the time.
There is a law which states that an object made from one type of material will always be able to support its own weight as long as you believe it can.
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I might add to or augment these later.
************************************************
Painkillers don’t numb pain; rather, they induce a hallucinogenic state of well being.
If God is everything then God is gay; and if God is gay where does that leave the Catholic Church.
Spuds make a good substitute for potatoes.
Money is like a financial currency.
MS Word is great!!! It suggests that “well being” should be “well-being” but as soon as it corrects it to “well-being” it suggests that it should be “well being”. Correcting this back and fort is a great way to pass the time.
There is a law which states that an object made from one type of material will always be able to support its own weight as long as you believe it can.
************************************************
I might add to or augment these later.
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