Define: Train Wreck

The enema bag hanging on the door is the coup de grâce

Going along with the picture I had for Valentines Day, I present this classic of the pornographic industry. Just look at the luxurious setting (all mod cons) and what about that guy! His demeanor betrays him; surely this is the picture of a lad wandering in expecting a fine young nubile lass only to be greeted by Jabba the Hut lying on the bed. Or perhaps its the poise of a man who has readied himself to do battle with the mighty ancient Cracken! Whats with the guitar? I'm betting it's not a genuine stratocaster. Maybe he's going to try and calm the beast with a Greg Lake number. But the real question is: whos going to drink the bottle of distiled diesel in his hand; the address says drunkmoms.com but by the look of fright on his face I'm sure he's about ready to down the lot in one gulp, in the hope of its alcoholic content killing him within seconds, or at the very least, cause spontaneous blindness.