The Road Through Rathcormac...

... is a fucking disgrace. Whoever left it in such a condition deserves to be shot. Avoide the red area (in the map) at all costs!


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Richard Dawkins on The Panel

I remember watching this when it was on first 2 years ago. I decided to put it up cos some of my foreign readers may not have seen it before (and may be interested). It's both funny and informative (unlike the current incarnation of The Panel).

[via videosift.com]

Smoke on the Water - Best Version Ever

Those crazy Asians are at it again :)

[via xenmate]

Lynx: Standards of Advertising

Its WWII all over again, fighter pilots shooting down the Nazi's and slapping swastikas to the side of their spitfires... no actually, its just some shite advertising by Lynx. Two of these "score cards" slid out of two Lynx packets I picked up over Christmas.

"Perserve your headboard?" but in this day and age STD's and mouth infections and silly things like AIDS, surely we should be reading "Preserve Your Cock" on such advertising gimmicks. It's a nice reminder that women are mindless zombies and can be easily controlled by fluttering your armpits in their general direction, sure thats the only reason women exist, right?



Heterosexual men smell so much nicer than gays too because remember, "sweat only attracts other men". What do gay men think when they come across juvenile orientated advertising like this anyway. Even the most light hearted care-free individual must surely feel a slight pang of bitterness that they can't even buy a bit of arse-spray without being reminded "they're different".

I'm no fucking prude, I have enough "ass" posts here to sink the Bismark, but its one thing to admire the female form, its another to abuse sexuality to pedal your wares.

Philip Donnelly - The Session (1987)

"The Session" with Philip Donnelly as it was recorded back in 1987. It's hard to put an exact year on the age of the tape because its actually a recording of a repeat shown shown some time later on BSkyB. It's circa 1987 anyway.

Even if you've never heard of Donnelly theres a good chance youve heard his music a few times before. If you remember "No. 1", a quiz show RTE had on years ago with two opposing teams answering questions on music. The teams were oftem captained by Gerry Ryan and Dave Fanning with guests like Joe Elliot of Def Leppard regularly appearing. Anyway the theme music was written and recorded by Philip Donnelly and appeared on his Town and Country album. But of course theres much more to him than a cheesey quiz show. The following is an extract from his bio on dublinrecords.ie:

"Philip's professional music career started in his home city of Dublin in the early 1960's, when he joined the Oscar Whifney Quintet. they eventually became the band Portrait which beget one of that era's most popular home grown super bands, Elmer Fudd, who are fondly remembered all over the Country.

His talents were soon noticed by the balladeer Donovan, who at that time enjoyed a huge following worldwide. Thus Philip joined Donovan' s band and turned the page into the seventies. After many moons with Donovan Philip joined the ever popular Gary Moore Band until 1974 when Donovan once again asked him to join the world tour, this time, however they were to be based in America.

Philip spent the next decade in Nashville where he recorded approximately 2,500 songs with various artists who, when listed, read like a fine tapestry of Country music."

Even the thought of country music is usually enough to scare people off, but this is very gentle country music, bordering on other styles. Its worth a listen if only to confirm your disdain for it. He's a supreme musician with a wonderful distinctive guitar playing style. I've included two single songs from the performance and the entire 52 minute performance at the end if your taken with what you hear.

..: Tequila Is Addictive :..



..: Donegal :..



..: The Session - Complete (52 minutes) :..

Murdering Beethoven

I'm not one to knock musical ability, I actively encourage people to start playing an instrument, writting silly little tunes, paint a picture or do something else thats creative. Everyone is an artist and your creative view of life is unique to you, but when bullshit enters the scene I usually get rilled up.

At first i wasn't going to post because I thought it was just her party piece and because of my own musical limitations I'm in no position to be a musical snob but after reading a bit more about Myleene Klass I found out she was given a contract by EMI Classics! No wonder EMI are going out of business.

It's an appalling version of the Moonlight. The tempo changes and expression are abrupt and random. If she was just after finishing a handful of lessons I could understand but to have a recording deal? Arrrggghhh.... The only redeeming quality is the way she sticks her arse out while playing, but that posture just seems to sum up all thats wrong with this.



Atsuko Seta plays the Presto Agitato movement from the same sonata. She doesnt stick her ass out like a ghetto superstar, she just plays the piano, well!

Cathy Jordan - TG4 Christmas 2007

I mentioned Cathy Jordan of Dervish when I posted about John Waters recently. If you know nothing of her then check out the Christmas special she hosted on TG4 last year. Stimulating television!



You'll have to navigate your own way on the site from here as they're using evil aspx to render pages. The link is on the left under "Ceol - Cartlann".

Dell Inspiron 3800 Setup Video

This is perhaps my most boring post ever. Its a copy of the instructional video that came with my Dell Inspiron 3800 8 years ago. After all the other machines I bought from Dell this is the only one that ever came with a VHS setup guide.



My 3800 only has 64MB of RAM but its still going strong. The same can not be said of some of the new Dell's I've had experience with. As you can see from the sticker near the power button, it even ran Red Hat Linux at one point :)

Tesco Sweets

I recently sampled two varieties of Tesco jellies, "Fruit Flavour Fish" and "Fruity Flavour Friends". I bought them purely because of the names. Fruit Flavour Fish, they managed to make English alliteration sound Japanese. It reminds of that scene where Tom Green comes across a vending machine in Japan:



Anyway, the thought of fruit and fish never really struck me as an apatising concept. They were ok though, very sugary but not tangy.

Everyone should have a Fruity Flavour Friend, they can be so festive. Tesco really love their "F" alliterations don't they, well I can think of other F words they could use. Not only did these look like little dildos but they also felt unnervingly like flaccid willies too. The lemon flavored ones tasted a bit chemical.

Is Spongebob Gay?

When I started watching Spongebob a few years back I was horrified by peoples assertions that he was gay and seen as just a gay icon. I wasn't horrified over homosexuality, I was just horrified that I couldn't even watch a children's cartoon without somebody shoving sexuality down my throat. Is nothing sacred? Why can't I just watch something thats innocent and funny without some "knowitall" telling me "Spongebob likes it up the ass". Why does there always have to be a micky involved for some people. It's like those fucking lynx adds. I can't even spray the sweat off me arse without some advertising campaign telling me I'm going to be chased around by a group of micky-thirsty women. Just fuck off already.

Much was made of the above image, taken from the Spongebob Squarepants Movie. It lasts about 1.5 seconds and its context is that they are both overjoyed at finding their missing car again. The clip below explains it better:



Every time I see this I laugh, its such a funny and cute seen, which is fantastically executed. Cute, but hardly gay. We are talking about two immature sea creatures here, a sponge and a starfish. The whole point of the film is that they are too childlike to be taken seriously. If they were two female characters no one would raise an eyelid.

The reason I'm posting this now is because of an episode of the Simpsons I saw during the week. Its episode 4 from season 6: "Itchy and Scratchy Land". In it, Bart and Lisa pester Marge and Homer so much that they finally give in and organise a family holiday to said theme park. There takes place quite a similar cut-scene between Bart and Lisa when they realise the good news:



No hand holding but a similar wide eyed staring expression on both. Are lead to believe there was some hidden incestuous tension going on here? No, they're just children! Thats the whole point!

And anyway, lets say Spongebob was gay, so what like? Well, some wanted the movie boycotted because of its "homosexual" overtones. It was enough to "turn your children gay" said one group. What group would that be? The Christians of course. The "all accepting" homophobic Christians. Don't worry though, Christians have their own cartoon characters, like Brickbob Gaybash:

The Visible Universe

A while back I posted about the Hubble Ultra Deep Field, well the above picture is kinda related. It is attempt by its creator to show all the stars in the visible universe, all 14 billion Light Years of it.

"This map attempts to show the entire visible Universe. The galaxies in the universe tend to collect into vast sheets and superclusters of galaxies surrounding large voids giving the universe a cellular appearance. Because light in the universe only travels at a fixed speed, we see objects at the edge of the universe when it was very young up to 14 billion years ago. "

If you goto his site (atlasoftheuniverse.com) you can do progressive zooms into our own solar system.

Wayne O'Donoghue's Weight Gain

When Wayne O'Donoghue was released earlier this month there was a torrent of interest in the event. Everyone had a view point one way or anohter. Amongst all the the supporters and haters were the odd voices uttering "Jaysus, he's put on the weight hasn't he". I mean its a fact that he's heavier now than he was before entering prison but I wondered what his weight had to do with anything. Then I found out: "... just goes to show you how soft prison is these days, he was probably better fed than I was".



Skip ahead to last week when I was watching Prison Break (with the lovely Danay Garcia). At every add break there was a short KitKat prison sketch, because they were sponsoring the show. In every scene they have a fella, lounging around, taking a bite out of a KitKat. Sure if thats all that goes on it prison no wonder O'Donoghue put on the weight.

Jordan Grand Prix 1994

A cheesy membership cert, but it was nice to have.

I was a member of the official Jordan Grand Prix supporters club for 2 years. The first year was excellent and well worth the effort but the following year was pathetic. Instead of getting fact sheets after every race all we got was a crumby letter every second race that told us nothing informative, thats if we got the letter at all, I never received two or three of them.


Official membership enrollment letter.


The cover of the folder we got upon joing and one of the fact sheets sent out after every race.


Inside the folder


Michael Schumacher started with Jordan, so you can blame/thank Eddie for that :)


Free posters and stuff


They always had merchandise offers and ...


... I eventually ended up buying the book from them

It's a pity Formula One turned into such a pathetic version of its former self, they just kept adding rules and regulations until it became ridiculous.

Frozen Wine Art

If you ignore the pun, this is very cool. I'd love to give it a go if I had the facilities.

[via MAKE:blog]

Two Barrels & a Vote

Much has been made of the recent campaign, Two Tits and a Vote, which hopes to highlight the shocking conditions of breast cancer diagnoses and treatment in Ireland. Unfortunately, much of this is down to people complaining about how its a "womens only" club. People! Stop bickering amongst yourselves! You are forgetting about the real enemy. I have devised a new campaign where everyone can get involved.

The time for diplomacy has ended. As Chris Morris would put it: This government doesn't need punishment, it needs gunishment!



It's time to usurp "King Bertie". You had your chance last year but instead you invited the arrogant serpent to take his seat for another 5 years. The only election Berite needs now is a blow to his "ballot box".



Before anyone in the cheap seats starts leaving comments about how I'm just a gun nut hell bent on violence, I would like to remind you of two things: I don't condone murder, its the government are effectively killing people, and a little thing called satire. For balance I will finish by saying "I think Bertie Ahern and his party are excellent leaders and not at all inept, corrupt or suffering from cretinism. Their partners The PD's and the Greens are also excellent and not just sell-out lapdogs".

How to wash a cat

1. Put both lids of the toilet up and add 1/8 cup of pet shampoo to the water in the bowl.
2. Pick up the cat and soothe him while you carry him towards the bathroom.
3. In one smooth movement, put the cat in the toilet and close both lids. You may need to stand on the lid.


4. The cat will self agitate and make ample suds. Never mind the noises that come from the toilet, the cat is actually enjoying this.
5. Flush the toilet three or four times. This provides a "power-wash and rinse".
6. Have someone open the front door of your home. Be sure that there are no people between the bathroom and the front door.


7. Stand behind the toilet as far as you can, and quickly lift both lids.
8. The cat will rocket out of the toilet, streak through the bathroom, and run outside where he will dry himself off.
9. Both the commode and the cat will be sparkling clean.

So many more cute cat pictures here.

[by Rippin-Kitten via xenmate]

The Haka

I can't stand rugby, even when Ireland are playing. I have no interest in watching bloated ego's running around a field shoving their heads up each others bottoms whenever they get a chance. The Kiwi Haka bollocks is just another reason not to bother with the sport, but I have to admit, its come a long way in terms of effort and performance since 1979:



This next one is embarrassing to watch:



[via xenmate]

Moid Lives

Apparently

Heath Ledger 1979 - 2008

Heath Ledger has died. I don't know how The Dark Knight ends but it looks like Batman Gotham one way or another.

I don't think I've ever seen him in a movie but I was looking forward to his portrayal of the "Joker" in the up and coming batman movie. According to the IMDB page for the film, it appears as if filming has finished and its in the post processing stage so hopefully Ledger has one final full length performance for us to see.

Bicycle Race

via [ twitter.com/irmigrrr ]

Dr. Solomon's Book Of Viruses

Back in the '90s Dr. Solomon's were the definitive name in Anti-Virus solutions. I had a subscription with them before I even knew what the internet was, all because I got infected by "The Ripper" virus once. It came off a resource CD-ROM I got with an AST PC (professional, don't you think... no wonder AST disappeared from the planet). As part of the software you got a physical Virus Encyclopedia. The thought of such a thing nowadays makes me laugh, but that was back then, when times were a bit more innocent. Dr. Solomon's were taken over by Mcafee in 1998.








I got fucked up by the ripper

Michelle Smith - Gold

They were selling these off for 2 quid back in '99, how quickly the mighty fall eh? This ones a bit unusual as it was already autographed by Smith. The other copies had no such markings.

I guess we will never know for sure if she was doped up or not, and even if she could be proven innocent would we believe it now? The only thing I can offer in defense is that Garry O'Toole, special guest on RTE's coverage of the '96 olympics, predicted every single one of Smiths races correctly, including her bronze medal. Either he was in on it with her, or her ability really did naturally progress to a stage where winning at the Olympics was to be expected.

Whether Smith cheated or not, Janet Evans was just a sore fucking looser!

RTÉ Promotion VHS - March 1998

The future of broadcasting in Ireland video sleeve

Back in 1998 I attended a public meeting held by RTE in Co. Waterford, which was held in order to outline the future of broadcasting in Ireland. I can remember three items they handed out free, a notepad and pen with the then new RTE logo livery and this video. The paper is long gone but the pen might be still floating around somewhere.



I remember little from the evening bar someone complaining that they had to pay for the RTE guide and why he couldn't get terrestrial TV listings free on the RTE website like the BBC website. Times were simpler back then I guess.

The 10 minute video shows clips from broadcasting of the year previous (1997) and its quite interesting to see whats changed and what hasn't. It's only 10 years ago so things don't seem too alien but its eerie to watch because while everything looks familiar and in place theres still just something night right with it. Its a bit like a dream or an RTE from a parallel dimension... or maybe its just 10 years old :)


The video seems a bit choppy, not sure why, but its watchable

Some Things I've Learned From This Video:


2FM still had their old logo; RTE 2 was Network 2; I could stomach Ray Darcy.

Pascal Sheehy was a regional reporter; Glenroe was still on; Mary Robinson was our president.

That guy is no longer around; Brendan O'Carrolls Hot Milk and Pepper was part of an RTE schedule; Duncan Stewart presented a better program back then, with better theme music too.

Echo Island existed and that guy had a full head of hair; TG4 was TnaG.

Dave Fanning had his own Movie Show; RTE showed F1; Michelle Smith was still a hero.

Mike Murphy presented Winning Streak; Eircom didn't exist; Gaybo was the only man for the Late Late Show.

We were good at the Eurovison; The RTE Guide add had some woeful graphics; The RTE website was pathetic.

We were led to believe a new era of RTE broadcast had arrived, it was called Rupert Murdock; The RTE logo is till the same.

Scientology Haters

I don't understand why Scientology gets such a bashing. It is just another flawed religion (note the redundancy in that expression). Atheists, Pagans, New Age Travelers... get a similar bashing. I wonder is it because of Christians inability to tolerate others beliefs, since most of the bashing seems to be coming from that sect. Partly, but as a society we have acceptance priorities. We'll easily tolerate traditional beliefs, we might even swallow their stories hook line and sinker, simply because its "normal" to believe, even if they are just as bizarre as Xenu and thetans. And even if we dont believe, we'll still treat them with respect because well, they're a tradition(see Christmas).

Only now are Christians distancing themselves from the Creationist story, much like the way Scientologists are trying to distance themselves from the story of Xenu. Well, outside America anyway. 50% of Americans still believe that they have a bit of Adam and Eve's DNA floating around inside them, or should I say just Adams DNA, Eve was his clone after all. Wait, do they even believe in DNA? Being honest, I have more faith in whatever story L Ron Hubbard ejaculated out of his head one night after a tantric bout of Left hand Path Sex Magick, than any of that Jesus rubbish. And trust me, I very little belief in any of that Dianetics muck.

People point out that Scientology is effectively stealing peoples money, that people have died in suspicious circumstances yada yada... Yeah well, a lot of Catholic priests fucked little boys. Priests who ended up being protected by their superiors for the "good of the Church"... shit happens, it is a religion after all. Where are the videos of wannabe reporters sticking cameras into the faces of Muslims demanding equal rights for Muslim women. Why do we not see BBC reporters bursting into roaring tomatoes over brainwashing within Islam? A very simple reason: "Allahu Akbar", you're dead! Or at least thats the perceived notion, a notion strong enough to brandish Islam with an unfair amount of protection.

I'm not sure, but there must be a conspiracy theory out there outlining how it was Scientologists that organised 9/11. And what if it was, what would it matter. At the end of the day, it was still caused by a group of deluded individuals acting on behalf of a misguided and flawed religion. Let people believe what they want, as long as they are tolerant of others. Very few religions are, even if they say otherwise. Absolutely stir up shit if you wish, just don't pick on group because youre too afraid of the others. Hate all religion equally. I respect everyones faith (note faith and not religion), I find belief fascinating. There are so many mysteries to the universe that one finds it very enjoyable to keep an agnostic mind. I certainly wouldnt knock someone simply because they believed something fantastic or acted a bit kooky. If you want to believe that having anal sex with someone will produce an ethereal being ala Alister Crowley, then more power to you. And hey maybe you're right, maybe thats the meaning to life; just don't force yourself on anyone.

Let people believe what they want, we all die anyway, thats my "religion".

[originally written as part of the Chick Corea & Scientology post]