Yep, I got a dose of the double blow-outs there yesterday (well today too I guess). I've been awake all night vomiting every hour, regurgitating the saliva I swallow. That's not fair is it? I mean sure, vomit up that old hang' sandwich and gallon of coke or what have you, but why saliva!? Thats being very mean, I think I'll have to get onto my local MEP about that, I'm sure its a war crime or something! And of course it wouldn't be a double blow-out if I wasn't suffering at the other end too. Yes sir, chocolate rain! <-- 33 million views!!!
I was at work yesterday, just after lunch when I get that "uh-oh" feeling. You know the one, the one that makes you keep an eye on the bathroom at all times just to calm yourself down. You tell yourself "its fine, if all gets to all you can just dart in". Well thats just what happened, out with the sandwich and coke into the sink. "Well, at least its over now" I thought, but much like the end of a bad horror film, a demonic voice from my innards growled "oh no its not!".
So I made my excuses and left work early.Merciful god, the voice wasn't lying! Once I mounted the throne at home, I felt like a sausage being sqwez' in the middle. There was fire and brimstone from every orifice! But the vomiting, that I couldnt handle. Usually when your stomach is dry you just dry wretch, oh not this time. I don't know where it was finding the stuff but it just kept coming. Then an hour later, more came... and again and again. I tried to sleep but I couldn't with the ill feeling that was over me. I finally started to "rest" by half dreaming that I was a block of matter trying to navigate home through other blocks in some kind of giant puzzel. Then at 12 I woke up and vomited some more.
I thought I'd never get back to sleep, when I started half dreaming again that I was making bullet-points for real life scenarios (don't ask me what that was about). At 4 I woke up and tried a little bit of water, it stayed down anyway. It was better than sex, never have I appreciated water so much! I'm fantascising about all other kinds of liquids now too though, even prune juice, which is very strange considering my current condition. I had this video saved in my youtube account since the jazz festival last year. It sums it all up perfectly (with a soothing Acker Bilk soundtrack!).
That sounds seriously horrible for you, poor fella. You've had a run (opps, a pun) of these troubles. Hope you feel better soon Gamma
ReplyDeleteI know but sure what can you do. At least the water I'm drinking now is staying down. I had some cold water earlier and it erupted out of me, hot, like a burst radiator lol Thanks for your well wishes!
ReplyDeleteFlat 7up is yer only man on these occasions.
ReplyDeleteOh, and also scrambled egg and toast.
Sounds like the winter vomiting disease. The bad thing is that it hurts. The good things are that your body's immune system can handle it in three days, and that you can infect people you hate easily. (Hehe)
ReplyDeleteAlso, don't dig for food in the fridge, it's easy to catch it again later when you get food from the fridge.
I was always told that apple juice and dry toast is best, when you can handle it. Oh, and if you're still ill, remember to buy some electrolytes from the chemist to mix into your water, as, over a few days, water isn't enough on it's own. Take care, buddy. Feel stronger soon. :)
ReplyDeleteDes: Eggs wouldn't be the greatest thing for me to eat even on a well stomach. There's just something about eating animal reproductive parts of I can't handle. I mean, you wouldn't eat a goats gonad would you? Or would you?? 0.o
ReplyDeletenitro2k01: Yes, its probably that alright, it's been an epidemic in Irish hospitals for years now. Looks like its spreading.
Coastal Aussie: I wasn't drinking enough water to have to warrant taking electrolytes. I had fresh orange juice which went down better than I thought, so maybe apple juice would work the same.
It looks like the infidels have surrendered anyway. I lay waste to the infection with a mighty combo of orange juice and curry. There could be an insurgence later though. Any damage to my bowel will be classed as collateral damage!