
John Waters: most reading won't know who he is, and there's no point linking to wiki page as he's the only person that's allowed edit it (He threatened legal action against wikipedia after reading a paragraph where someone wrote that he had smelly feet [citation needed]) So here's my Riemann's Cut entry for him instead:
- Nonsense Journalist (I'll get back to this later)
- Failed Song Writer - Wrote two songs for the Eurovision, the first was laughed at by Ireland and never got put through, the second was laughed at by Europe and came last. It was titled: "They Can't Stop The Spring [but please god, make this shite stop now]"
- Hater of blogs - Mind you I agree with him here. I almost hate blogs as much as I hate newspapers.
- Hater of the internet in general - there are unconfirmed accounts that John Waters was actually Boxxy on 4chan. Eitherway, it's a tarp!
- Set up his own website after the wikipedia incident. It has one hyperlink... it's broken.
- Amazingly anti-Atheist (deeply anti non-Christian actually)
- Seemingly homophobic (Ironically, the more famous John Waters is a flaming homosexual)
- Is a really shit ice-skater
The first was titled "Sneer if you like: it just proves that you're afraid of thinking for yourself." It relates to the recent mass delusion over a tree stump with a rough humanoid form. Somehow, Mr. Waters argues that those who have broken away from the brainwashing of Christian dogma and superstition are somehow incapable of independent thought.... yes, I see, hmmm.... I actually don't know how to respond to that. Must look up the Bible and see what it says.
The second relates to his reviewing of the recent Sacha Baron Cohen film, "Bruno": "I'd like to report an incident of gay bullying. I was the victim..." Dun dun dunnn! Holy shit, I love when there's a twist at the end of headlines... I didn't see that one coming. The whole article plays out like a "I'm not homophobic but..." thing. He talks about the negative reaction he got to his views he expressed on Pat Kenny's Radio1 show about the film. Well I'm not surprised, the the views were quite homophoic. At one point on the show, Mr. Waters said that the only part of the film he enjoyed and found funny was the "Swingers Scene". To him, the rest of the film was vulgar and obscene. The only part of the film that related to heterosexuality was the swingers-scene, the rest dealt with homosexuality! In his defence he did speak about the great 1916 struggle where homosexuals fought and died for gay marriage in Ireland: "Why did we need this? Is this what the men of 1916 died for?"
Mr. waters has a big problem with personal criticism and for a guy who likes to dish out his shitty opinions it certainly smacks of hypocrisy. Look, I've nothing personally against the guy, he kinda looks a bit cuddly and I'm sure he wouldn't rape you without a drink on him first, but if you stir shit for a living expect to get covered in some spunken yourself. If you put your cock in a hornets nest, don't expect an orgasm. I am crying, writing this.
6 comments:
This is hilarious, well done sir. John Waters is a joke. A not very funny one. He being of the 'every 'gay' wants to hold me down and fellate me' school of thought. I struggled a while with the 'blog' tag. I hate that word so much. In fact, I think I have you under 'great blogs' on my website, I think I'm going to just put every link under 'great sites'.
It took me a lot of time to come to terms with the fact that, technically, I am a blogger. Shudder.
I hear he is actually the guy in the infamous, 'one man one jar' video...the state of Irish journalism is defined for me by all the English papers...and don't get me started on those again.
BMD: Embrace the word "blog". After all, Twitter is new word for internet cretinism ;) And thanks for the praise btw. The link below may interest you also.
Shape: Feel free to rant about newspapers, you know how I stand on them now [with big shitty shoes!]. Seriously though, I wanted to show you this before now, but since you tore the head off me, and the fact that you hate FG I thought I better keep quiet. I think enough shit has been flushed by now though. Spotted during the elections by a twitter dude, image by me:
[Times Online]
Haha excellent journalism there...does my hatred for FG come through that strongly! And again the hear tearing was all a misunderstanding.
I like it.
It reminds me on the Homer Simpson web page. Something Waters would probably throw together himself.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uMyEGgbrJBw
Shape: A big bomb in the Dail is what we need, wipe them all out!
Carrigaline: Needs a smoking cat!
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