I hope this letter finds you well. Let me get straight to the point. I refer to your frequent displaying of undergarments on your washing line every 3 to 4 days. This display of your most intimate garb causes, without fail, an enormous stiffening of my undercarriage. While this may be deemed as a pleasurable activity with most humans of the male variety, it causes me great discomfort. This is down to, in no small part, an unfortunate birth defect, which is medically known as "Misaligned penile epidermis". While I have no wish to shock you, I feel I must fully explain this condition for you to appreciate my disposition. In short, I have less skin on one side of my penis than the other. This means that when my penile tissue engorges with blood, one side lengthens further than the other, causing my penis to curve around in a semi-circle (to help you picture this: imagine a banana on its side, or half a roundabout). Such a contortion to the phallic device is very unnatural and causes immense pain to my member.
I realise that you must do you washing, and that the clothing most in contact with your lady depths will probably need more cleaning than others. It would therefore be very unfair of me to ask to to cease cleaning these. I do ask however that you please put these items up to dry at night only, where darkness can natural hide their sexual provocation.
I am currently working with my doctor to find a cure to my ailment. At the moment I am on heavy medication and I hope to have surgery soon (to help pay for this, I am selling modern paintings inspired by my sexual frustrations, perhaps you would like to view one for purchase?) The medication I take is quite potent but I can still "hornate" if over stimulated.
Your discretion in all this is most appreciated.
Thankfully yours,
Gavin Gustav
PS I include an example of my artwork at no extra charge.
Again...I really like these letters...
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