Christmas Music Mash-up.mp3
I often find myself wanting to listen to multiple pieces of music at the same time, so I have found a solution to the problem! What you are listening to (yes you should be listening to it at this point) is the entire collection of 44 songs from the "Greatest Christmas Album... Ever" played together, all at once. I think you will agree, it is indeed a fine festive concoction of auditory cacophony. The track-listing can be found at the end of this post.
I like Christmas music, actually no I don't. Actually it depends. It depends on how close to committing suicide I am. If anything was going to drive me over the edge into auto-erotic asphyxiation it's Cliff Richard's Mistletoe & Wine. But let us not joke about suicide, for it's guaranteed that we will hear of at least one festive murder-suicide this year again. "Christmas: It's such a fucking happy time of year."
Back to the mashup above: If you listen closely you will be amazed at just how many songs that you'll manage to recognise. It gets a little easier near the end when things thin out. Wizzard, Chris De Burgh, The Waitresses.... The whole thing finishes out with Frankie Goes To Hollywood's "The Power of Love". "I'll protect you from the hooded claw; keep the vampires from the door", what an apt. way to finish the piece [it is?]
Christmas was invented between the late 1970's to mid 1980's, at least in musical terms. Song's outside that era just don't last (except for the Bing's, the Dean's and the Nat's efforts). The most overlooked "modern" Christmas song is The Darkness's Don't Let the Bells-End. This is a perfect Christmas song, much better than some of the shite pumped out over the holidays. It has the added bonus of being a song that organised a group of children to sing "Bells End" on a pop song. Credit to Dave Fanning for highlighting that, the fecking paedo!
Here are some more albums that, to me personally, are classed as Christmas albums. It has to do with when I bought and listened to them over the years (around Christmas time strangely enough). There's nothing particularly "yule tide" about them but ELP's Black Moon does feel a bit winter'y and of course Mussorgsky's The Great Gate of Kiev is quite celebratory and festive. Jethro Tull's "A" album has a song entitled Batteries Not Included which is a common concern when buying shite for children at Christmas. People should buy children batteries instead of toys this Christmas, just to mix things up a little. Click each album cover for more info if you feel so inclined.