Uh oh! TD Martin Cullen dropped the r-bomb! "He didn't, did he!?" Oh yes he did, Sheila. You can't go around telling people you were raped if you weren't. Mr. Cullen would have been perfectly entitled to say that "the media was raping me, bitches!" (to "rape" in that sense is a perfectly fine adverb to describe aggressive unfair coverage of details from ones personal life) but no, he seemingly tried to make out that what happened to him was the same as when a person has unathorised sexy-time with another person. That's a very big "niche niche" in most peoples books. And what exactly does he mean by "it was like being raped as a man"? Jokes aside about any trans-sexuality [s]he might be hiding, is rape different for men or something? Is that some kind of reference to macho bullshit? "Men don't cry.... blood from their anuses when they're raped"...
But wait, perhaps we have it wrong! Perhaps Mr. Cullen mean't "rape" in the botanical sense?
Hmmm... I think he had better get the OJ Simpson legal defense team on his side if that's the case he's going to argue.
Psychologists speculate that Mr. Cullen's "Rape Complex" occurred when the door of a helicopter he was traveling in, for nonsense reasons, flew off hitting Mr. Cullen in the head (this trip was, ironically, payed for by "raping" the TAX payers of Ireland). Afterwards, he claims to have seen a vision of a "Kebab" sitting beside him, whispering sweet nothings into his ear.
This entire post is nothing more a fictitious trace of Martin Cullen's thought processes yesterday. That's the legal stuff out of the way, and notice how I didn't make any mention of Monica Leech.... aww shit!
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