What Liberace's Death May Tell Us About The Mystery Of Kim Kardashian's Ass Cheeks
Valentino Liberace, as some will know, was a popular pianist famous for his flamboyant outfits and showmanship. Rumors of his homosexual tendencies and illness from AIDS plagued him respectively for years and months leading up to his eventual death in 1987. He never admitted to either however, and died before either could be confirmed. Horrifically, shortly after his death and burial his body was exhumed for further medical inspection. The official reasons for this were a bit willy nilly, but most knew it was for morbid curiosity of whether he had died HIV positive and thus, in a round about way, confirming his homosexuality.
So anyway, there I was, on the toilet thinking about Kim Kardashian and wondering what her ass would look like sitting on a toilet seat when a thought struck me. Like most of these "famous" people, I actually know very little about the woman. Literally this is all I know: 1) She has a ginormous ass-bottom. 2) She made a sex tape with a black man with a big willy and most people agreed that he wasn't using it very well and even they, with their little sausage snakes could do a hell of a lot better. 3) She's friends with Paris Hilton[? Not sure about that one]. Finally, 4) most people say she has ass implants. It's that last one that causes me most grief, for nothing ruins a fantasy more than the doubt of fake ass implants. You just can't enjoy an ass if it might be made out of rubber [don't mistake this to an ass covered in rubber, that's a whole other type of fantasy!].
It's this doubt that I was thinking about. We'll never know for sure if her bum cushions are real or not. There are so many haters spreading rumors out of spite and too many horn-dogs willing to believe anything they see. Big bottoms exist all over the place, but it does appear as if her ass is all she's famous for, so you wouldn't know what kind of hocus-pocus she shoved in there just to bolster her fame. I think, much like poor old Liberace, the only way we'll ever know for sure is after Kardashian dies and the doctors perform some sort an ass-autopsy. Only then will we find out if those bunz are 100% organic! Fuck, this got a bit macabre didn't it? Quick, cue a mock up I made earlier of Kardashian with external butt padding.
[ Click here for an UPDATE Blog Post - 10th July 2011 ]
Posted at 22:19