A Letter To George A. Romero...

I decided to write George a letter after viewing his latest masterpiece, Survival Of The Dead(2009).

Dear Mr. Romero,

Let me first say you have made many a fine movie over your long career. You have in fact made one of the finest movies of the 20th Century, which is also one of my personal favorites of all time: "Dawn Of The Dead(1978)". The tv trailer for the follow-up movie "Day of the Dead(1985)" is the earliest trailer for a movie that I can remember seeing (The images of zombie arms breaking through the wall are permanently etched into my brain). It therefore comes as great personal sorrow to have to say: "Please for the love of mother fucking god, STOP MAKING SHITTY MOVIES!"

You have pumped out two of the shittiest turds of movies I've had sit through in recent years, and I was was very apologetic about Land Of The Dead when I watched it, so in retrospect, that's probably quite shit too. You're latest crapfest "Survival Of The Dead" AKA "Survival of a franchise Name in an effort to suck fans dry" nearly reduced ME to a zombie-vegetative state, and my tv to pile of scrap as I flung things at it out of frustration.

A bad movie is one that makes you laugh at its crappy'ness, a really bad movie makes you angry, and then there's the level of despair created by your last two films. "Diary of the Dead (2007)" was perhaps the worst thing you ever laid a hand on. You should have named it "Diarrhea of the Dead" and flushed it down the toilet.

You're overuse of cheap shitty CGI makes me wonder if you ever liked the look of real gore because you seem to be doing all in your power to fake it up as much as possible. Of course, the same can be said of the plot, the storyline, the acting...

If you continue to make shit like this, it will pollute the honor of your past movies and make them look like flukes! Or worse, will call into question how much of that spooky gritty atmosphere was really just bad movie making.

That's about it anyway, oh and remember the classic line from Dawn of the Dead, up-dated now...

"When there is no-more room on my shelves, I will fuck your DVD's out in the bin"

A [Dawn of the Dead] fan.

This Youtube clip is scarier (and more entertaining) than anything Romero has done in the last 25 years...