Cocaine caused every problem on the planet today.
The Irish banking collapse was caused by cocaine.
The global banking collapse was caused by cocaine.
HIV and STDs are spread by cocaine.
Alcoholism is just cocaine addiction in sheeps clothing.
Robin Williams is full of cocaine in every film he made.
Scarface is 100% accurate depiction of an average cocaine user.
All gun crime is commited under the influence of cocaine.
Children only misbehave because they've taken cocaine.
I describe entrie races of people as peasants.
Cocaine is a curse on us all from the indigenous "peasants" of the Americas.
I don't understand why God made cocaine.
God must have been on Meth when he created the coca plant.
I am God's spokes person on Earth.
Dr. Sigmund Freud was a complete quack.
I wanted to be a rock star when I was growing up, but mammy and daddy made me do medicine.
I am now living out my rock star dream by talking to every radio station in Ireland.
I love the sound of my own voice.
Sometimes when I'm on the radio I talk really slow.
Sometimes when I'm on the radio I talk really fast.
Sometimes I wonder if I'm taking cocaine myself.
I will save every life in Ireland and tell you about it.
I could have saved Katy French's life if I made love to her.
I could have saved Gerry Ryan's life by doing the same.
I will write a book about cocaine and call it an autobiography.
I care about cocaine because it is my angle.
I will become famous on the backs of cocaine victims.
Cocaine, it's a hell of a drug!
I am Dr. Cocaine!
*I do not exist, I am just a figment of the authors mind. No doctor this crazy could surely exist...
7 comments:
awesome work - this post reminds me of a movie called 'altered states' where the protagonist spent a long time in a sensory deprivation tank and then went to mexico and took peyote with some shaman and eventually turned into a flesh eating monkey ...
speaking of writing on drugs, kevo myers takes it a step further than you did:
"Anyone who takes cocaine, either as an experiment or as habit, is a colleague, friend and paymaster of FARC."
http://www.independent.ie/opinion/columnists/kevin-myers/kevin-myers-it-is-up-to-those-who-publicly-mourned-gerry-to-publicly-denounce-his-cocaine-consumption-2461059.html
farc'ing hell
And anyone who reads a Kevin Myers article, even just one word of it, instantly becomes a cretin. All my failings can be blamed on catching a glimpse of Kevin Myers' name in an open newspaper on a coffee table when I visited my Aunts house in 1997.
But hang on though. Kevin said on it that he wants coke legalised. What do you think of that? I can tell you one thing. Myers is a fucking dope [huk huk] when it comes to facts: "All coca production is criminal." Ha ha, the fucking knob end doesn't realise it's still used by Coca Cola as a flavoring, as well as a raft of other industries.
I'm glad you liked what I wrote. And remember it is all entirely fiction. It's not based on a real doctor who works in a certain Cork hospital. No, not at all. Don't make that mistake please.
Your mentioning of Altered States and Shamen reminds me of a blog post I have been meaning to finish, so I shall do that now.
I only read Myers to laugh at his pompous tory outbursts. I only look at his image to see his outrageous eyebrows.
I am thinking of having a glass of Coke right now, damn the consequences of funding terrorists in columbia. I know if I open the bottle that there is nobody here to finish it. That makes it a bigger crime.
I am afraid of a post that is inspired by shamen and altered states. I hope it wont be as trippy as your daithi/rush video - that brought me a few minutes of pleasure/confusion and a few months of backflashes.
p.s. greetings from cork boyyyyyyyyy
I wonder if I should email Myers, informing him of the legal status regarding the coca plant. I might ask him to autograph a copy of his "Love Poems" book that I blogged about earlier, too. The man is a master of the lexicons!
I hope your days of getting pulled by Guards in Fermoy are well over. And you know exactly what I mean by getting pulled!
Oh and the Shamen post will be disappointing and nerdy!
yes, my days of getting pulled by the law in fermoy are over, I have moved on to getting pulled over by them in dublin (and driving away while they are talking to me about my lack of nct cert - hence a trip to court next monday)
I just read the myers poems and all the comments, some truly sick stuff in there, especially the person who seems to want to lick dead katy french's poop.
I am sure people think terrance mckenna is disappointing and nerdy but I bet he had fun taking all those drugs
Ah yes, Katy's poop hole was place of great inspiration for the Irish elites.
Terence McKenna said many a fine thing. He spoke of mind expansion a lot, then he got a brain tumor and died, 12 years before Eschaton, so perhaps one should take what he said with a pinch of salt ;)
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