In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth. And then he created light. God liked the light. It was the opposite to dark, which He created just before that. Then He created Eden and the plants and animals, and the apple tree, don't forget the apple tree. And then God created Adam...
And Adam spent most of his time fucking the animals in Eden. As illustraited in this childrens bible, you can see him mounting the doe from behind, gently stroking the warm neck-fur of the beast, as he presses his flesh rod to her rear. No doubt he was gentle and promised to love the dear deer forever, but God didn't like the idea and so created another man for Adam to put his mickey into. God hated that idea even more though, so he turned Adam II into Eve. And Adam saw the vagina, and it was good! God was sloppy though, and didn't remove all traces of man on man sex desire from Adam and so we now see that "flaw" still present with homosexuals today. That's the reason for homosexuality. Yes. And bestiality? Ho ho yes, you've guessed it.
This children's bible is one from my childhood. I liked this book a lot actually. It had some great illustrations. I particularly liked the image of the Ark of the Covenant. I remember playing Indiana Jones, when I was a child, opening the bible to this page displaying the Ark, as Harrison Ford did in the film "Raiders of the Lost Ark". Oh simpler times. Horrible, awful simpler times! This post started out as being a mature look at relationships and the first relationship mentioned in the Bible. Furry arse sex and Indiana Jones took over though.
3 comments:
That same book was in my house too. Could you please post the picture of Satan tempting Jaysus, it was creepy. Kthxbai.
I had that edition as a child. I think it is in the loft somewhere...
Ironclad Ken: I might do a "Delightful Devil Depictions" post later on, and certainly include that image if I do!
The Shape: No heaven for those with dusty bibles in their attic!
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