You're a worrier so you'll see it before everyone else, but you over-worry so you've learned to ignore it.
A Worriers Irony
Cork City Ballet & Ballet Through The Lens
I picked up the two of these books over the last few years and have been meaning to do a post on them for some time. They're both quite nice publications; full with enough pictures, posed and candid, to entertain even the curious mind.
"Cork City Ballet: The Story So Far" focuses on the history of the company and the life of current Artistic Director, Alan Foley, while "Ballet Through The Lens" focuses on Foley's dance relationship with Irish ballerina, Monica Loughman. Some hi-res images from that book can be found here.
I picked out some random arbitrary pages from both books, to give an idea of the content contained within. I'm not sure where the Cork City Ballet book can be bought now but I picked up Ballet Through The Lens at the Firkin Crane Theatre in Cork, so I imagine that would be a good place to try.
I was inspired to finally start and complete this post by a lovely email I received recently from "Melissa" in America. I was dubious over her intentions when she mailed (so many kind words from a stranger) but she assures me she is neither a scammer or spammer :)
You can see the rest of this post here: La Sylphide: Cork City Ballet & Ballet Through The Lens
This post first appeared on La Sylphide
La Sylphide is a dance orientated blog authored by Gammagoblin
Sexual Objectification: Bad News For Lindsey Vonn
An interesting, albeit short, article on the Guardian website. It seems not to bash this functioning of the male brain, or even general pornographic imagery but rather the location of such imagery in every day life."Researchers used brain scans to show that when straight men looked at pictures of women in bikinis, areas of the brain that normally light up in anticipation of using tools, like spanners and screwdrivers, were activated.
Scans of some of the men found that a part of the brain associated with empathy for other people's emotions and wishes shut down after looking at the pictures."
"They're reacting to these women as if they're not fully human,"
"areas of the brain that normally light up in anticipation of using tools, like spanners and screwdrivers, were activated"And possibly, the areas of the brain associated with the anticipation of using ones cock, also light up. But how does the female brain react to male imagery? And what about gay men and women? The research is incomplete!
[Lindsey Vonn Reference]
You Don't Love Me, You Just Wind Me Up
I meant to include this in my Valentines post for this year but it got away from me. As if a wind up vibrator was odd enough, this is one that's intended for use in "Third World where batteries and electricity supplies are unreliable", at least according to the original source. And even odder, it's being manufactured in Ireland.
So basically, this is a kinetically charged battery powered masturbation device. I don't know about you, but I'm not sure why anyone would spend GB£60 from lovehoney.co.uk on a wrist powered fap device when god already gave most of us a perfectly good manual fapinator on the end of each of our arms. Click on the pic to the above-right to see this lovely lady explain the "ins&outs" of the device.
"Dr. Frank's Crank n' Wank!"
Earth Angle, me hole! But I guess that's the point.
Mary Cocklin
"like Einstein explaining his theory of evolution."
Ireland's supremely competent politician, Mary Coughlan.
Better Guitar Sounds In Reason
Guitars are a hard thing to realistically replicate in general but the patches bundled with Reason 4 are fairly weak. There are no good sounding distorted guitar patches at all. Gut-crunching cock-blasting power chords don't measure up with any of them. I felt like trying my hand at some industrial metal (of the music variety) during the week but the lack of sounds put me off. I could have had a look through some old refills that I have but I thought of an idea that didn't involve any guitar samples and could still be done using the original refills that come with Reason 4.
I had a go at this last night. I'll spare you the details because it's in it's early stages at the moment and needs a lot of refining. Currently I have about six or seven Scream units in use, which is probably overkill. As I already mentioned, I decided to avoid using any guitar samples.
Here are some audio files of what I came up with, with version 5 being (as you'd expect) being the last version I worked on. Rather than trying to come up with my own music I decided to use Rammstein's "Engel" as a playground.
Version 5 Full MixSolo Track | Version 4 Full Mix Solo Track | Version 3 Full MixSolo Track | Version 2 Solo Track | Version 1 Full MixSolo Track |
Valentines Day 2010: The Love Post
Oh how I do love thee,
The schlock and the filigree.
Valentines day comes but once a year,
But some can't cum, at all.
Ding ding ding... it's Valentines day, and you know what that means! Lies! Loads of mother fucking lies will be told today. "Oh I luv you baby. Im neva gonna cheat on you; again! And I promise if I do, it will be with a human this time!" I have a history of not being the most festive when it comes to this day, you can check for yourself here, here & here.
But that doesn't mean I'm not romantic, oh no sir! Your honor, I would like, if I may, to call Screamin' Jay Hawkins as a witness. Screamin' in the following video sums up exactly what love is, in fact, it was this very routine that I wooed my last girlfriend with. She's dead now but they still haven't found the body.
Sing it Hawkins!
I love you, I love you in-the-anahihnaihana-anyhow,
I don't care if you don't want me,
I put a spell on you,
Cos you're mine!
And possession is nine tenths of the law, remember that children! If you liked that video, please check out the alternate version which is far more spooky but misses out on some of the finer moments. Lots of hoodoo-voodoo though!
So let me guess, you're reading this and forgot it was St. Valentino's day. You're fucked now cos you didn't buy your significant other anything. Well have no fear, the gammagoblin is
May I tempt you with a new single from wife-killer Eamonn Lillis? Don't let the wife-killer part put you off, he's genuinely remorseful for beating his wife to death with a brick, and to try and make amends he's released a cover of Beyonce's "Single Ladies" song, with all profits going to the prevention of domestic violence.
"Single Gentlemen" will have you bopping along and soon you too will be singing the refrain "If you liked it then you shouldn't have put a brick on it". Not for you eh? Well how about... "Weight Training" by Joe O'Reilly. Joe guides you through the correct methods of using dumbbells, with and without weights. No? Ok my final idea for you:
The Joy of Sex, the Josef Fritzl edition.
Hey at least I'm not trying to sell you overpriced flowers and cards and fluffy polyester filled shit, to enrich that sense "completeness" with your loved one. Love doesn't come pre-packaged with a barcode (unless it's plastic love, but that's a whole different story!). Just ignore today, embrace forever! Und bitte... du mußt vermeiden, die Krankheiten!
Marjan Kalhor, Being Sexually Repressed?
I thought I might post an interesting followup and counterpoint to the Lindsy Vonn post I made. I got a good reaction to it, with very polarised views in the comments. The comments were either along the lines of: "Oh it's disgusting, the filth of this cover, how dare they, Grrrr!" or "She should definitely have done it, just cos she's such a super sexy bitch!" Neither of these view points are in agreement with my own, which sits firmly down the center of the debate. So I thought for the sake of comparison, to post about Iranian Alpine Skier: Marjan Kalhor.
Marjan Kalhor's appearance in skiing comes from a whole different standpoint. As a Muslim, she is bound to dress modestly as set out by the strict rules of Sharia Law. The reasoning behind these laws are to protect women from becoming sexually objectified. Even though most of the body in covered in skiing anyway, she must still wear a type of baggy shorts to concede the curves her body creates in the tight skisuit.
Is this worse that what Lindsy Vonn has gotten up to? Is it better? Should Vonn perhaps adopt this dress code herself, lest anyone else think she is being objectified, intentionally or not? Should all tight aerodynamic skisuits be banned, are they too racy? [bad puns ftw!]You can view a short video of Lindsey Vonn during the SI Swimsuit photoshoots, to remove all doubt from your head that shes a woman not in charge of her image. I must laugh at one thing though, she says people shouldn't get shocked over seeing a bathing suit as it's not anything different than what you'd see a beach. Except that, the shoot took place on top of snow covered mountain top!
[images via nevasport.com & Mark Baker/AP Photo]
Lindsey Vonn, Being Sexually Exploited?
I saw this pic a few days ago, and I must admit, I did think it might rise an eyebrow or two. However, I've just now read a blog post on Vesa Koivunen's blog about the uproar it's causing. It seems some people think it's objectifying Vonn's appearance rather than focusing on her skill as a world champion skier.
Well, first off it's a downhill pose, granted you wouldn't be smiling at the camera, without a helmet, and they don't look like downhill polls but the pose is somewhat correct. I think a big problem is the way humans usually process covers of magazines. We're used to seeing a persons head amidst the banner but in this case, it's Lindsy Vonn's bottom that graces that area, so the focus is instantly drawn to that part of her. Was the image chosen for this reason? Probably. You don't have to be a cynical bastard to think that. Even if we ignore the notion of being that way to make it look sexual it was definitely there to grab peoples attention. The question is whether there is something wrong and unfair about it. We must look for other clues. What about the article headline: "America's Best Woman Skier". Not having read the article I can only assume it means "best" as "most victorious" and not "best something else". Does this indicate an innocent slant on the cover image, or a sly attempt to cover all bases?
I think we must give Lindsy Vonn some credit for being able to control the portrayal of her image as a woman and an athlete. The real question is: does she, as a world class athlete, have a responsibility to maintain the well being of women's rights all the time. I think it's a lot to ask; she's a skier not a freedom fighter. And if it were her obligation, is she failing at it? She certainly likes the limelight, is that wrong?
I find it surprising the level of interest this has caused. "Glamor Shots" for want of a better phrase, have long been a part of female skiing as well athletics in general. Take a look at the image of German skier Maria Riesch, who is currently ranked No. 2 behind Vonn. This is far more "raunchy" but is it exploitative? She was elected the Lange Girl for 2009, a title which is usually involves wearing ski-boots and not much else. She willingly posed for the shot; a gun wasn't put to her head. Personally I think the whole glamor part of skiing is very tacky and do all I can to avoid it, but does it cause me mental anguish; no. I no longer worry about it being right or wrong.The one thing I do hate though, is when sports commentators refer to female athletes as "girls". It just sounds so derogatory. I don't like it, nor do I even like the term "ladies" when referring to female disciplines. It just sounds overly polite to the point of being patronising, like a shop assistant explaining to their boss about an unruly female customer: "Oh this lady appears to be having a shit attack." Mind you, it's a hell of a lot better than "girls" [feck, drink, arse... comes to mind].
Those who have a problem with the Sports Illustrated cover probably shouldn't visit here, and if they did I wonder what they'd make of it. I didn't mean to write this much, I've rambled on... I'll include one last pic to see what you think though.
This is British alpine skier, Chemmy Alcott, grabbing the boobs off American skier Julia Mancuso, at the end of season Verbier High-Five competition. Is this exploitative? Is this derogatory? Is this "wrong"? What about Julia Mancuso's website banner, hows that for objectification? I'm not being facetious, I honestly can't say for certain, I would be dubious of anyone who can.
As you've probably noticed, I haven't given a personal opinion on the cover yet and that's because I don't have one. I don't know anything about the magazine, maybe it's usually filled with pictures of naked female curling stars and greased up bobsleighers, I can only go on the cover and I see too many sides to it. The title of the article seems to be about her career but it is still a cover of a magazine, so cynically speaking, an editor will always try to make it as "eye candy'ish" as possible.
It's a picture of a woman bending over, if you think it's suggestive, then it is; if you don't, then it isn't. She's a downhill/super-g champion, if her main discipline was slalom or something, then that would be a whole different story as it would be odd to represent her in a downhill posture. The people who are running around with pitch forks and fire about this should ask themselves how would they design the cover given the variables involved. Simple fact is: no matter what picture of Lindsy Vonn they used, a large section of the planets populous (both men and women) would judge her on her appearance and looks alone, thats just the way it is. Finally, Vonn herself, finds all the controversy very surprising.
[Followup post about Iranian Alpine Skier Marjan Kalhor]
Attention: Moar Content Needed On The Internet.
Blogs are slowing down, we must kill the scourge that is Facebook and Twitter. And when they're dead, we must kill blogs!
Marmolada
I got tagged for one of those, "I want back-links so I'll invent a meme" things. Oh ok, without the cynicism this time :) "Your Favorite Photo & Why". Favorite anythings are impossible so I've picked an arbitary photo, which I do like a lot however.
I spent three weeks in the Italian Alps (The Dolomiti) back in 2000 (it doesn't sound that long ago but it was 10 years now!). I was invited over by an Italian friend (whom I've grr'ishly not spoken to in years; must rectify that!). We got to know each other over our mutual admiration for Martina Ertl, a German Alpine Skier. To say the Dolomites are amazing is to put it lightly. The whole place was complete visual-sensual shock. Even using ones eyes with stereo-vision, grasping notions of scale became a farce. At times it was impossible to judge, or indeed, comprehend the scale of mountain ranges and distances. To look across, and see clouds at eye level casting perfect silhouettes of themselves on the ground hundreds of feet below; totally fantastic!
A few technical details (as best I can remember): Shot using an Olympus OM-2n on Kodak 100ISO film with a Tamron 28-200mm lens. I've left the quality of the photo untouched (levels, sharpening, dust marks etc.), as it was scanned 10 years ago; I think it adds to the overall surreal quality which can be found there. Oh and the title of the post: "Marmolada", that's the name of the peak in the middle of the pic. It has a permanent glacier attached to it, or it did at least. Even when I was there the locals were worried at the rate it was retreating every summer.
Links [Sticky Fingers photo-meme via Coastal Aussie]
Splanxy {music}
For the curious, there are liner notes here http://splanxy.blogspot.com but reading them might take away some of the "mystique" :-)
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
