Here's a little treasure I forgot I had made. It's a short small animated gif of me driving south bound through the Jack Lynch tunnel in Cork (see map). The camera is mounted to the dash via the magic dash support (sponge with slit in it). I had planned to redo this with a better looping point but I never got around to it. Seems to play better in Chrome.
Long time Irish radio and TV broadcaster, Gerry Ryan, was found dead in his Dublin apartment this morning. A cause of death, is so far publicly unknown.
I grew up listening to Gerry Ryan, and even though he might have seemed like an annoying in-law at times, he nevertheless became part of the family. Only this morning, I was thinking of how Gerry Ryan, in many ways, reminded me of myself. Viewing life from perverted angles but striving never to be full-out vulgar about it. My prevalent use of words like: "willy", "bum" and "bottom" can be put down to listening to Gerry Ryan on the radio for years. I hadn't listened to him all that much in recent times, but I would always try and catch what he had to say about the daily papers just after his show started, every morning after 9am.
In writing this blog post I am drawn to a song by Tom Waits which I will always associate with Gerry.
Last year (or the year before, I can't be sure) Gerry played this song nearly constantly for week(s). While I enjoy Tom Waits, he is nevertheless a performer which you often... well, often have to be in the mood for, and week day mornings rarely lent themselves to this kind of music. In truth, if it weren't for me being so lazy I might have just tuned into a different radio station each time he started playing it. When he finally lost interest and stopped playing the song (or was forced to by RTE bosses), I thought "thank god for that!". But you know, a couple of months ago, I found myself searching youtube for the song which had slowly begun to haunt me. And quickly, I found myself playing the song repeatedly also.
I think that may be the way Gerry Ryan's death will be greeted. To many, he will have been an annoying creature, taking up valuable airtime and TV licence payers money broadcasting nonsense for three hours a day, five days a week. But with his passing, I wonder how many hardened anti-RTÉ snobs will be unable to at least appreciate the gaping hole in Irish broadcasting that has been left in his wake. A gaping fallujah, as Gerry himself might have said.
I painted this during this evenings British Leaders Debate on BBC1. It's not that it wasn't interesting, it's just that well, we've heard it all before (three was one too many me thinks). Anyway, I'm not sure if this looks like a cherry blossom tree against a darkened sky or whether it looks like someone ate too much raspberry ice-cream and had an accident on the bathroom floor. Good fun either-way, and painted from memory from scenes I saw while out and about today.
I came across [unfortunate phrase] this video randomly on youtube one day last week. "Batman: A porn Parody", I initially thought it might be something home-made or along the lines of the CollegeHumor or AdultSwim, but no, it actually turned out to be a trailer for a real (pornographic) movie, with seemingly high production values (well the re-shot "Batcave exit" looks good; stock footage?).
Click for bigger.
Anyway I Googled around and found some info and photos on this bleedingcool.com forum. I must say, the prospect of a pornographic Joker intrigued me. A real jolly rapscallion Joker, as seen in the TV series or even Jack Nicholson version would have been delightful. What we seem to be getting instead though, is something akin to the semi decomposed body of Heath Ledger, re-animated! If this is going to be a half-arsed version, with little or no acting, it might be ok. It might even be comical to see a man dressed up as a zombie-joker oohing and ahhing with his cock out, but if it's anyway serious, and going on the details of the make-up in this photo, the Joker might make for some rather unpleasant viewing.
Eitherway, I had to laugh at the discusion found on the BleedingCool forum thread.
MurrayC asks: "Sssoooooooo.... When the Joker (god, I can't believe I'm asking this) unloads onto Harley's face... Ummmmmm.... what colour will it be?"
JoshAdams replies: "Just a flag with a bang on it."
Images taken of Albert Einstein's funeral were first made public earlier this month. The full set can be found here at life.com. The description for the picture above:
At the Funeral Home
Early in the afternoon, Einstein's body was moved for a short time from the hospital to a funeral home in Princeton. The simple casket containing the corpse, post-autopsy, only stayed at the funeral home for an hour or so. Morse made his way there, and soon saw two men loading a casket into a hearse. For all Morse knew, Einstein's burial was imminent. Hoping to scope out a spot near the grave, he quickly drove to the Princeton Cemetery. Photo: Ralph Morse/TIME LIFE Pictures
Apr 09, 2010
Believe it or not, I had this post thought out before Nick Clegg came out with the line "size Does Matter" on Thursday night last. I knew I was onto something when it said it though. He just loves his hand gestures. Oh and "super powers bumping up against each other"? Oh behave, Mr. Clegg!
Back in 2008, when I started experimenting with breaks and dnb and shit, I came out with this thing, which is an example of said experimentation. It's only claim to fame is that most of it was composed "live" on the fly. Let me explain: Yes, it has been tidied up afterwards (the start and ending in particular, as well as the "Jack L" vocals) but most of the rest is all live manipulation of 1) bass line loop, which was composed just before I started, 2) Dr.Rex drum loop, which is some bog standard Reason loop I think, 3) some basic piano bass stabs on keyboard, and finally 4) the muting and unmuting of track elements (bass, drum loop etc.).
What I really liked about this track is the "whip lash" effect I got with the drum loop. It's a technique I've used in other pieces. Basically, I dialed the "Env Amount" back a good bit on the Dr:Rex unit and used the Sustain part of the Filter Envelope to alter how much of that effect was sounded. By timing it right, I created that nice whipping effect. The rest of the manipulation of the drum loop was created altering parts of both Filter and Amplitude envelopes. The beat repeating was done simply by muting between the drum track and a delay insert affect on the main mixer module.
The repetitive bass does get a tad boring but it was just an experiment (with Jack L, no less!) rather than a final tune.
Do you know all this bullshit about "men and their gadgets". It's usually spouted by certain types of women; women with hair curlers, hair straighteners, hair extenders, bionic hair controllers, eyelash bending devices, shoe wardrobes, nail polishers, nail strengtheners, skin bronzers, cellulite bashers, eye bag reducing electro-static creams (it was on the tv once), body shapers, Spanx controllers, ass lifters, ass squishers, shoes, handbags, jewelery... Gadgets by any other name basically.
But the best one of all: The stuff men would only dream of having such "space-age" research done into: Anti-Aging Creams. Anti fucking aging. Think about that. That's the shit you rub into yourself to defeat the effects of time and space! The mother fucking Stephen Hawking doesn't even have that kind of pimped out techno in his ride.
I took this image 5 years ago, and the 'puter is now in the attic so I can only assume the virus definitions are an extra 60 months out of date now. Man, that's a shit load of updates needed.
The draft script for a one off special (Christmas?) of the BBC's Dr. Who series has leaked onto the net. The plot is based around parallel dimensions and split personalities where three versions of the current Doctor (Matt Smith) will all find themselves materialised. Matt will play the main doctor, John C. Reilly is to play a dominant "older brother" type doctor while Tom Waits will be playing a wise but broken father like character.
It's also hinted that Gordon Ramsay may make a cameo appearance as a 4th version of the doctor although it's not quite clear what type of character he will play. The only description he's given in the draft is "The Ego Monger."
This of course, is all bullshit. If a Christmas special like this ever appeared I would have to sue the BBC and possibly ask that they fire their lackluster script writing staff for stealing such a lame premise. That said however, I must say that my choice of alternative Doctors is genius. A year ago, when I first heard Matt Smith was to play the new Dr. Who, I was as perplexed as the next person over who and where Smith had come from. To me at first, he looked real kooky, like a young Tom Waits or something. And last week when I saw John C. Reilly in the lovely Cirque du Freak(2009), I felt he had this look about him that was Matt Smith'ish. How I could tell this was a mystery however, as I haven't actually seen Matt Smith as Dr. Who yet. I did see Smith as himself on Blue Peter last week though and I thought there be a touch of Gordon Ramsay about him. [Ed. Similar? You mean they both English accents or something?]
I doubt I'll see too much of Matt Smith as the Doctor, David Tennant permanently put me off the show. I will continue to pine for Christopher Eccleston. Oh Eccleston, you had the range, the range needed for the Doctor: from maniac to lunatic in the blink of an eye, but always ready to instantly switch back to a doctor you could place the fate of the universe in. And so moody... Tennant? Blarrrgghhh!
I saw an advertisement for Skype on Derren Brown's blog a moment ago. The headline read: "Husband on a business trip?". Even though the subheading went: "Say goodnight in person with free video calls." my mind wandered off elsewhere.
I don't give a fuck about backlinks. All my shit is for everyone. Share it out. You can even chop my image up and use it in something else, but to take an image [idea] I created and just de-brand it for whatever reason, well that just fucking annoys me. I put it there to save you the hassle of even mentioning where you got it originally, so to go to the effort of loading the picture up in a graphics program just to take that stamp of origin off it makes you seem like a fucking scumbag. And whats worse you didn't even do a good fucking job of it.
This isn't even about my own ego. If you went to the effort of removing all traces of my blog address but when you posted the image to a site, blog or forum you stated that you didn't create it but "someone" else did, well I wouldn't even be too bothered about that. Sure, it would be annoying that you removed the traceability of the image, but fuck it, at least you weren't trying to take credit for it.
The great thing about the web is that it's just that: a "web", where everything's connected. So maybe fuckers need to spend less time trying to break the fucking thing! It's why I like places such as soup.io and tumblr.com, you get to show off stuff you find but 99% of the path it took for you to find it, can be traced.
I won't mention where I found the altered image, to give that person the benefit of the doubt of whether they did it, or just found it somewhere else.
1. Launch Google Chrome 2. Install the "FasterChrome" Chrome extension. 3. Log into Youtube. 4. Go to someone else's profile 5. Scroll down until you see the FasterChrome pop-up telling you it's loading next page 6. Continue scrolling to see your own profile but in the theme of the profile you were just visiting. 7. Go outside for a while.
That famous German/Austrian composer, Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart, once composed a little canon ditty called "Leck Mich im Arsch!" which translates directly as "Lick me in the arse". That Mozart fellow was a dirty old bastard it seems. You'd never catch Beethoven up to this kind of Shenanigans! There are a few versions with altering lyrics, but they all revolve around ass licking. "Leck mich im Arsch" is the German equivalent of the English phrase "Kiss my ass", which does make the song ever so slightly less perverse I guess.
"Lick my ass nicely, lick it nice and clean, nice and clean, lick my ass. That's a greasy desire, nicely buttered, like the licking of roast meat, my daily activity. Three will lick more than two, come on, just try it, and lick, lick, lick. Everybody lick his own ass himself."
Musical Patrick Stewart is back! And this time he's playing a garden hose, a feather duster, scat singing and making farting noises! This has become my favorite vid on YouTube right now! I love the three part harmony on the duster!
I'm quite a fan of Linsey Pollak's youtube performances but I never heard him speak before. It was quite a shock to hear that Australian accent. I was well sure he was going to be from Holland or Belgium or somewhere around there in Europe. Awesome stuff anyway.
I've just arrived back into Cork, after a week long tour of the other Irish metropolises. Hurtling along the M8 I broke into song. This is something I often do while driving, but tonight, on the night that's in it [Christmas!] I decided on a bit of Jesus Christ:Superstar. Now when I say a bit, I actually mean all of it; the whole thing; from memory!
Saying I was a tad rusty is an understatement. Oh don't get me wrong, I could sing every note and did a fair job of Gethsemane with a lash of my falsetto. It's just, I couldn't remember all the lyrics, or even some of the musical phrases. I would never let a thing like that hold me back though, oh no!
Lyrics came quickly...
"Christ you know you're Jesus! Fuck me, Fuck me, Jesus!"
"I dreamt I met a Galilean, A must peculiar man.. His face had melted off"
"Now If I help you, it matters that you see, I need a little help with these growths on my micky."
"And yet, if he really loved me, He wouldn't bust my face off"
"Can't we start again please. I think you've made your point now, you've even gone and sucked my balls, sucked until the message came"
And the less said about the filth of the ad-lib lyrics to the "leper song" the better!
I was getting so into it that I missed the turn off at Fermoy to bypass the toll-road! (luckily I had a fiver in my arse pocket) I don't know, I just got really wrapped up in it all. It must have been that illuminated crucifix they have on the hill in Fermoy making me feel like god or something.
I wonder how many road accidents can be attributed to getting carried away with singing. I'd love to hear Gay Byrne coming on the radio telling us of the dangers associated with attempting to re-enact popular musicals in a car on your own. Ah well, it's still far less dangerous than the number one cause of road deaths in Ireland: masturbating while operating heavy machinery.
"Booze-Lust" - Pope John-Paul II loved a drop of the red stuff. Never on Good Friday Though.
Much consternation has been happening in Ireland over the last few weeks. About the poor state of the economy you ask? The strikes? The cutbacks? The poor health care? Oh yes yes, all that, but something else too. Something which has caused much division amongst the people of the nation, the likes of which hasn't seen seen since the Civil War:
The Catholic Tradition Of Abstaining From Consuming Alcohol On Good Friday Vs. The Freedom To Get As Shitfaced As You Like From 'Skulling the Booze' on Any Friday Of The Year.
What makes this extra sweet is the fact that the conflict has arisen because of a game of rugby being played on the day. (Rugby, that most Protestant of games! What would the Bishop say!) This isn't just silly triviality, this actually involves Irish Law. A special legal pardon has been given to pubs in Limerick (where the game is taking place) to sell alcoholic beverages to punters tomorrow.
And they say stereotypes are dead... As for me, I'll be sniffing glue, like I do every Friday.
It's also hinted that Gordon Ramsay may make a cameo appearance as a 4th version of the doctor although it's not quite clear what type of character he will play. The only description he's given in the draft is "The Ego Monger."
