Like A Baby, 2011 Will Emerge, Bloody & Screaming

One night at the end of 2010, 2011 was created, and the song was created along with it (the artwork, after Christmas dinner). What will 2011 have in store for us. Good things I hope.

2011 by Gammagoblin

2011 - BigMentalDisease Remix

[ Download bmd2011remix.mp3 ]

My Favorite Photographs Of 2010

Without a doubt these have been the most memorable images of 2010 for me. Perhaps not taken or published originally in 2010 but it was in January of this year that I first came across them. Pictured is actress Michelle Rodriguez, looking much resplendent, dressed in garb reminiscent of Native American influences. Using Native American decorations within fashion has become somewhat of a taboo, or indeed always has been so, but I think because the influence here is so slight and because of Ms. Rodriguez's own mixed heritage, no offence can be taken.

The reason I'm making a big deal out of these images, other than just liking them, is because they are a very good way for me to judge how fast the year has passed. Since posting them to my Soup.io stream I have been meaning to post them here on this blog. I thought about doing it various times throughout the year but I never managed to follow through. It seems like only yesterday that I posted them to Soup.

High resolution versions can be found at my Soup.io stream, and a link to the rest of the photographs in the set can be found there also. Click banner below for direct link.

Bonus Content: Stuff That Didn't Make It In 2010

Nick Clegg and Kitten, relating to an April 2010 post.


Lenihan Macht Frei, originally planned as an animation with music, the concept was never finished and probably never will be.


Clinton Troll Face, from October 2010 archive.


Jesus Spotted In The Shining, unused composite from "The Shining Twins" blog post in August.


Dáithí Ó Sé Watches You Poop, originally posted in a comments section here only.


Paul Gogarty Rimming For Election, an animation I made for a video I created earlier this month.


Cowen Execution With Eyes Open, an alternative version of the image I made for Muck Savage Samurai in September 2010.


Faircity Sub Plots, a picture from a scrapped blog post. Most likely never to be finished.

In The Beginning...

In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth. And then he created light. God liked the light. It was the opposite to dark, which He created just before that. Then He created Eden and the plants and animals, and the apple tree, don't forget the apple tree. And then God created Adam...



And Adam spent most of his time fucking the animals in Eden. As illustraited in this childrens bible, you can see him mounting the doe from behind, gently stroking the warm neck-fur of the beast, as he presses his flesh rod to her rear. No doubt he was gentle and promised to love the dear deer forever, but God didn't like the idea and so created another man for Adam to put his mickey into. God hated that idea even more though, so he turned Adam II into Eve. And Adam saw the vagina, and it was good! God was sloppy though, and didn't remove all traces of man on man sex desire from Adam and so we now see that "flaw" still present with homosexuals today. That's the reason for homosexuality. Yes. And bestiality? Ho ho yes, you've guessed it.



This children's bible is one from my childhood. I liked this book a lot actually. It had some great illustrations. I particularly liked the image of the Ark of the Covenant. I remember playing Indiana Jones, when I was a child, opening the bible to this page displaying the Ark, as Harrison Ford did in the film "Raiders of the Lost Ark". Oh simpler times. Horrible, awful simpler times! This post started out as being a mature look at relationships and the first relationship mentioned in the Bible. Furry arse sex and Indiana Jones took over though.

Shameless Shamen Shenanigans

Click above for a larger and more expanded version...

I've been meaning to post these "fan-made" alternative covers I made for songs by The Shamen, for a few months now. I was going to post them one by one, but that might be a bit spammy. The above image is a composite made from a few sources. The made part is taken from a screen capture I made while playing the FPS game, "Prey". The song, "Space-Time" was written about Will Sinnott, a member of the band that drowned while filming "Move Any Mountain", and his image appears in the blue portal [inter-dimensional and all that shit]. To me, Prey, was a perfect vehical for Shamen related subject matter. The game merges Native American culture with a futuristic/sci-fi setting. Wonderful stuff, and definitely shamanic business every time...



We all know the song "Ebeneezer Goode" but some struggle with understanding why it was so controversial (this is actually true, I know of people). I thought I might lend a helping hand with this artwork, although it's still a little cryptic.



Muhammad had the original... only joking. I just wanted to get some flack from Muslims. Muhammad is accredited with asking a mountain to move and saying it will only move with faith, but that may just be a story told by outsiders as it's not found in mainstream Islamic texts, but it is pop culture though so I'm linking it here! And here's an earlier version which graphically demonstrated the link. And you know the old joke about it don't you: Faith can move mountains, she's a big girl! Oh the funniez...


An alternative version for Space-Time...

Fuck Your Horse, I've Got A Mitsubishi

Oh yes, much hilarity, with the Rubber Banjos and all that. But what happens when a horse does actually come face to face with "Fitzy's Mitsi"? Well, if the video above is anything to go by, the car will limp it's way back home but the poor horse won't stand a chance.



And what if it's a horse verses a Honda? Well you can check out the absolute detritus that's left in the wake of such a meeting. These pictures are pretty "intestinal" and probably not suitable for everyone, so don't say you weren't warned. Click on the pic above and scroll down about half way for a full set of images.

"Why No Irish Woman Will Ever Truly Trust A Ballet-Loving Man" Jacinta O'Brien

Click for larger version...

A bold statement from The Daily Mail's Jacinta O'Brien, but she fails miserably to back it up. She offers nothing but opinion and anecdotes from her own immediate family. While I appreciate her mentioning the case of Malcolm McArthur was to highlight the homosexual sensationalism at the time in the media, he is still one of Ireland's most notorious murderers, having been incarcerated since 1982 for the violent murder of a female nurse as she sun bathed in the Phoenix Park, Dublin. To mention this man in an article titled "Why no Irish woman will ever truly trust a ballet-loving man" does seem to (by accident or not) suggest something far more sinister.

Her piece meanders all over the place (including a bizarre insinuation that women only follow sport to look at the outlines of mens genitals), but there is of course truth to some of  what she has written, though not once does Ms. O'Brien say the stereotypes are wrong; not once does she suggest an effort to change public opinion. Instead she seems happy to perpetuate the idea that men are men and there is something not quite right about a man who enjoys ballet.

Joseph Nearly Did A "Runner" On Mary

Christmas is a great time to read some fairy stories, especially ones from the Bible. I was reading Matthew 1 when I came across this nice little passage (18-19) involving the details of Mary's pregnancy:

¹⁸This is how the birth of Jesus Christ came about: His mother Mary was pledged to be married to Joseph, but before they came together, she was found to be with child through the Holy Spirit. ¹⁹Because Joseph her husband was a righteous man and did not want to expose her to public disgrace, he had in mind to divorce her quietly.

Lucky for Mary, Joseph decided to believe all the stories and dreams and followed through with the marriage to Mary, and not stone her to death for committing adultery, as was the custom at the time .

Just imagine if Jerry Springer was around back then, and Mary and Joseph ended up on the show, what would the episodes headline be: "Honey, I ain't been running wild. This here baby, is God's own child!"

Faster, Pussycat! Kill! Kill!

A cat suit for your CornerShot™ covert firearm device. The CornerShot™ device takes a firearm, such as a 9mm handgun, and allows you you fire it by proxy. Or at least, fire it by extension. The fore end of the unit, which holds the gun, pivots and has an integrated camera attached underneath. A video feed from this is fed back to a monitor on the side. All of this means that you can point and fire the gun, around a corner without having to stick yourself out with it. To help with the covert nature of the device, a kitty cat disguise can be added to the front.



This whole thing reminds me of the cat silencers present in the game Postal 2. You'd pop a live cat on the end on your gun and it would muffle the noise from the muzzle. Postal 2 is one of the greatest games ever, by the way.

A Strange Thing Came Into My Spam Folder Today

"Viagra Soft!" It sounds like mighty fine stuff altogether. Perhaps it's the antidote to an overdose of normal Viagra.

Christmas Presents

What I bought myself for Christmas:

• The Royal Ballet Yearbook 2010/11
• La Danse - The Paris Ballet Opera (2009)
• Macmillan Triple Bill: Royal Ballet 2010

Full reviews should follow at some point.

Merry Christmas!

Merry Christmas everyone! I hope Santa was/is/will be good to you. Santa was just here. He left me a present under the tree and in my toilet bowl. God bless that man.

Christmas Music & The Speed Listening Approach

Christmas Music Mash-up.mp3
I often find myself wanting to listen to multiple pieces of music at the same time, so I have found a solution to the problem! What you are listening to (yes you should be listening to it at this point) is the entire collection of 44 songs from the "Greatest Christmas Album... Ever" played together, all at once. I think you will agree, it is indeed a fine festive concoction of auditory cacophony. The track-listing can be found at the end of this post.

I like Christmas music, actually no I don't. Actually it depends. It depends on how close to committing suicide I am. If anything was going to drive me over the edge into auto-erotic asphyxiation it's Cliff Richard's Mistletoe & Wine. But let us not joke about suicide, for it's guaranteed that we will hear of at least one festive murder-suicide this year again. "Christmas: It's such a fucking happy time of year."

Back to the mashup above:  If you listen closely you will be amazed at just how many songs that you'll manage to recognise. It gets a little easier near the end when things thin out. Wizzard, Chris De Burgh, The Waitresses.... The whole thing finishes out with Frankie Goes To Hollywood's "The Power of Love".  "I'll protect you from the hooded claw; keep the vampires from the door", what an apt. way to finish the piece [it is?]

Christmas was invented between the late 1970's to mid 1980's, at least in musical terms. Song's outside that era just don't last (except for the Bing's, the Dean's and the Nat's efforts). The most overlooked "modern" Christmas song is The Darkness's Don't Let the Bells-End. This is a perfect Christmas song, much better than some of the shite  pumped out over the holidays. It has the added bonus of being a song that organised a group of children to sing "Bells End" on a pop song. Credit to Dave Fanning for highlighting that, the fecking paedo!

Here are some more albums that, to me personally, are classed as Christmas albums. It has to do with when I bought and listened to them over the years (around Christmas time strangely enough). There's nothing particularly "yule tide" about them but ELP's Black Moon does feel a bit winter'y and of  course Mussorgsky's The Great Gate of Kiev is quite celebratory and festive. Jethro Tull's "A" album has a song entitled Batteries Not Included which is a common concern when buying shite for children at Christmas. People should buy children batteries instead of toys this Christmas, just to mix things up a little. Click each album cover for more info if you feel so inclined.

Disc: 1
01. Happy Xmas (War Is Over) – John & Yoko
02. Wonderful Christmastime – Paul McCartney
03. I Wish It Could Be Christmas Everyday – Wizzard
04. Merry Christmas Everybody – Slade
05. Do They Know It’s Christmas – Band Aid
06. I Believe In Father Christmas – Greg Lake
07. A Spaceman Came Travelling – Chris De Burgh
08. The Power Of Love – Frankie Goes To Hollywood
09. Angels – Robbie Williams
10. Baby, It’s Cold Outside – Tom Jones with Cerys from Catatonia
11. Saviour’s Day – Cliff Richard
12. Step Into Christmas – Elton John
13. Sleigh Ride – Spice Girls
14. Little Saint Nick – Beach Boys
15. Santa Claus Is Coming To Town – Jackson 5
16. In Dulci Jubilo – Mike Oldfield
17. Stop The Cavalry – Jona Lewie
18. Christmas Wrapping – Waitresses
19. Ring Out, Solstice Bells – Jethro Tull
20. The Millennium Prayer – Cliff Richard

Disc: 2
01. White Christmas – Bing Crosby
02. The Christmas Song – Nat ‘King’ Cole
03. Let It Snow, Let It Snow, Let It Snow – Dean Martin
04. Mary’s Boy Child – Matt Monro
05. Mistletoe and Wine – Cliff Richard
06. Walking In The Air – Aled Jones
07. Winter Wonderland – Peggy Lee
08. Lonely Pup (In A Christmas Shop) – Adam Faith
09. Rockin’ Around The Christmas Tree – Mel & Kim
10. Last Christmas – State Of The Heart
11. Little Town – Cliff Richard
12. Frosty The Snowman – Nat ‘King’ Cole
13. Rudolph The Red Nosed Reindeer – Dean Martin
14. Lonely This Christmas – Mud
15. God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen – Ella Fitzgerald
16. Deck The Halls – Treorchy, Morriston Orpheus & Pontarddulais Male Choirs With The Band Of The Welsh Guards
17. Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas – Jane McDonald
18. We Wish You A Merry Christmas – The Weavers
19. The Twelve Days Of Christmas – The Spinners
20. Gaudete – Steeleye Span
21. Silent Night, Holy Night – Sinead O’Connor
22. In The Bleak Midwinter – Bert Jansch
23. Peace On Earth/Little Drummer Boy – David Bowie/Bing Crosby
24. What Are You Doing New Year’s Eve – Mary Margaret O’Hara (Frank Loesser)

I Am Dr. Cocaine

Cocaine caused every problem on the planet today.
The Irish banking collapse was caused by cocaine.
The global banking collapse was caused by cocaine.
HIV and STDs are spread by cocaine.
Alcoholism is just cocaine addiction in sheeps clothing.

Robin Williams is full of cocaine in every film he made.

Scarface is 100% accurate depiction of an average cocaine user.

All gun crime is commited under the influence of cocaine.

Children only misbehave because they've taken cocaine.

I describe entrie races of people as peasants.

Cocaine is a curse on us all from the indigenous "peasants" of the Americas.

I don't understand why God made cocaine.

God must have been on Meth when he created the coca plant.

I am God's spokes person on Earth.

Dr. Sigmund Freud was a complete quack.

I wanted to be a rock star when I was growing up, but mammy and daddy made me do medicine.

I am now living out my rock star dream by talking to every radio station in Ireland.

I love the sound of my own voice.

Sometimes when I'm on the radio I talk really slow.

Sometimes when I'm on the radio I talk really fast.

Sometimes I wonder if I'm taking cocaine myself.

I will save every life in Ireland and tell you about it.

I could have saved Katy French's life if I made love to her.

I could have saved Gerry Ryan's life by doing the same.

I will write a book about cocaine and call it an autobiography.

I care about cocaine because it is my angle.

I will become famous on the backs of cocaine victims.

Cocaine, it's a hell of a drug!

I am Dr. Cocaine!

*I do not exist, I am just a figment of the authors mind. No doctor this crazy could surely exist...

Kevin Myers Releases Love Poetry Collection

Just in time for Christmas, Kevin Myers has released an omnibus of love poems and other lexical novelties that he has been writing for the last two decades. For years he was waiting to find a publisher who, as author puts it himself "inspired me to the same level as listening to my own voice does". Myers has decided to go with the original working title for the collection: “Love Is Wasted On The Impetuousness Of The Cuntish Youth.” The collection is avilable at most good book shops and TESCO mega stores natiuonwide. Priced at a very reasonable £149.99 RRP

Some extracts from the book:

- Fuck Whack: Love is molten -

Glistening,
Like white snot.
The life making elixir,
Spurted (Like, love liquor),
From mans flesh spout.
You took it in the wrong orifice,
Now your life is fuck whacked.


- Our Love is Forever -

Oh my love,
How I love you.
Epic power streams
From my heart.
You complete me.
How I'd hate,
For you to cross me.
I would surely destroy you!


- Weighing The Options -

Sugar and spice
And all things nice.
A lone mother,
And her bastard.
You took his love,
A meager 6 inches.
And now you're left,
Broken and unloved.
No future for you,
Your life is ruined.
Better off dead?


- For Gerry Ryan -

The bitterness of the coca leaf
Is only half the bitterness of
A scorned Radio host.
Lament, lament.
Your sorrows are but a distant blowing.
A rustle in amongst the branches,
Of some forbidden flora.
Young mothers pushing prams,
With nostrils full of snow.
Was it for this that young men died,
In Nineteen hundred and sixteen.
No, nor was it for this,
That Gerry Ryan died of AIDS.
Better words than the following,
Have yet to be spoken.
“Fuck the world”.


- God, The Lover -

Darwin, the almighty fool,
Could not feel this love.
His spastic peasant theorems,
Of man with Monkey Brain.
More chance have I
At creating life,
By placing my mickey
In a meat mincer,
Than a monkey
Sprouting human thoughts.


- Ginormous -

Ginormous asses,
On petite lasses,
How do your bottoms grow.
The wonderful mass,
Of the quivering ass,
I am infatuated by you.

I wonder, with
Your frame so small
How does it haul,
That sexual rump around.
Sexual sexual, sexual gods.
Your mound is a sexual god.

What Will Jean Byrne Be Wearing This Christmas?

Oh do you remember the scandal of it all last year. The country got itself into a tizzy all because Jean Byrne decided to wear a silver dress while presenting Christmas Day's weather forecast. Oh I know, silver, what a faux pas to commit! Silver, the colour surely most associated with child murder, sexual assault, cult indoctrination and the Holocaust, how could she do it! Yes, it was all rather silly wasn't it. I really didn't understand why she got so much flack over it. Yes ok, silver satin does look a bit spaceman like and even I parodied this in a video I made earlier in the year, but really, there was nothing that odd about the colour of the dress. She wore a teal coloured satin dress the week before Christmas, which had the same luminosity and there was nothing about it.



After the incident one could forgive Byrne for toning down her outfits and retreating back into a shell of conformity, but no. She seemed to come out with more and more outrageous outfits week on week. Some nice and some god awful. The worst had to be a pvc and fur thing. It was like she was giving a big two fingers to those that critacised her. And there were some awful things said about her: "She looks like the Christmas turkey wrapped up in tin foil".. "Space commander Dobbo to Jean Byrne, come in Jean Byrne. There appears to have bean a terrible accident involving your outfit the last time you used the teleporter." "Look at the state of this wan, who the fuck does she think she is wearing a silver dress. Fucking la de da!" etc.



Like I said, the colour was fine, but the cut of the dress was not all that nice. The shoulders are the real problem spot; they're truly horrendous. They flap around like intergalactic fish gills. I think they they weren't present a lot of the negative attention wouldn't have happened, but they do slim the figure by getting rid of the "roundy shoulder problem." Still, big shoulders and metallic colours are the quinisental design of 1950's sci-fi movies. Check out Riff-Raff and Magenta from The Rocky Horror Picture Show.



The reason I took a keen interest in this event is because I had started collecting media on Byrne to create a blog post on her, just one week before all this blew up. Hence why I can tell you what she was wearing a week before Christmas and why I appear to be the only person on the internet to have kept a copy of her 2 Christmas Day weather forecasts in the now infamous Silver Dress. I kept track of other attire of weather forecasters too and I have to say, some of them had even whackier designs! Multi coloured peacock shit! Jean Byrne got a serious raw deal on all this.

RTÉ Should Bring Back "Live At 3"

There they are, the original Dáithí Ó Sé and Claire Byrne. Derek Davis and Thelma Mansfield ruled Irish television throughout the 80's and 90's. They brought a blend of all kinds of everything from 3pm every weekday on RTE1. It featured fantastic stuff like music and interviews, interior design, gardening, automobile maintenance, knitting, arts etc. etc. A large part of the Gammagoblin's formative years were spent watching Live at 3 after coming home from school. I must say though, even I couldn't stick the OAP specials they had on every  Monday. No OAP specials for Daithi and Claire though, oh no. OAP have to take what they're given these days.


Since then RTÉ have constantly been chaning afternoon programming. Be it "The Afternoon Show" or now "The 4 O Clock Show, incorporating The Daily Show", it seems that they are desperately trying to recapture the magic that Live At Three. I say they should just bite the bullet and bring it all back. Bring back Derek, bring back Thelma, bring back the old features. Even bring back that 1980's Japanese influenced set design! We have the massive debt and poverty like we had in the 1980's, isn't it time we brought back the television programming now too! Think of it: watching Live at 3 again, this time on the huge 3D LED television screens that we bought on hire-purchase which we now can't afford to pay back. Ah yes, I'm getting teary eyed at the prospect.
All images were taken from this 1988 Live at Three special publication. A pricey little number for 1988 at £4.95. And the thing was full of ads.



This post has been in the making for a few weeks but I've decided to finalise it before Christmas so that I can call it a Christmas present to a certain mega fan of Derek Davis. You know who you are.

Lighting Up Your House For Christmas

You can't beat miles of fairy lights, pleasantly strung across a house to make it look impressive at night.

Or you could always try a gallon of petrol...