Jim Corr: What's Been Lurkin' In The German Gurken

Angela Merkel, infecting a batch of cucumbers with the deadly bowel based E.Coli bacteria.

Jim Corr has recently issued a statement* explaining the truth behind the spate of deaths and illness suffered by Germans and non-Germans alike, from a new varient of the e.coli bacteria. He explains how it was highly suspicious that the finger should be pointed at organic cucumbers, cucumbers  who's origin was specific to the country of Spain only. He suggests that this is a complete manufactured story. As man-made as the varient of e.coli found to be infecting people.

He continues to say that Spain is teetering on the verge of economic collapse and the slightest downturn in confidence could lead to disaster for the Mediterranean state, which would lead to another Irish like IMF/ECB bank bailout. He suggests that this would play directly into the hands of the Germans who would gain immense control over another EU state.

Corr's evedence relies on the fact that Hitler once tried to take over Europe in the 1940's and that it's no coincidense that the outbreak of the disease should take place in a country aptly named "Germ"any. Using their new found power over the country they could easily confiscate land to use for setting up meat refining factories for the reptilian inviason in 2014

*Disclaimer: To the best of my knowledge, Jim Corr has never said anything like this. This post has been a complete work of fiction... much like the rest of what Jim actually comes out with.

Related: Daily Mail report from 2007 outlining the removing of individual wrapping of cucumbers to save plastic. Perhaps this is what has caused the problem, since all phallic shaped objects should always be rubbered-up for safety.

Related: German supermarket giant ALDI are doing a stellar job of reassuring customers that their cucumbers are 100% safe. [via]