Music Review: "THE RIGHT 2B BADASS"

A special guest post by Kevin Myers* (not the famous one, the other one... that just happens to look like the famous one [non-liable disclosure]).

Judge Judy* has given this review 6/10 on the OUTRAGIOUS scale. "It's good to be informed."
(*not the famous one, the other one... that just happens to look like the famous one [non-liable disclosure]).

Kevin Myers - Aran Islands, 2011 "I often find myself masturbating to music. Mostly it's just because it's on in the background, but occasionally it's the music itself that I find arousing. A vibrant choral opus or keyboard concerto that really quicken the lust-stroke, but this new album "THE RIGHT 2B BADASS" by a pair of young American sisters calling themselves, aptly, "Those American Girls" has really taken the wet biscuit. Their raspy gasps and venereal moans, that seem to emanate from erogenous gullets, make the listener want to spring up from their seat, strip off, and beat the one string trouser banjo to the rhythm! [ed. Good lord Kevin, you've certainly had your Weetabix today haven't you!] 

I've never felt like falling in love with a pop star, let alone two... let alone two pop star sisters, let alone two cartoon pop star sisters, let alone... well you get the idea.... and I don't want to do so here either. What I do feel like falling in love with though, is this album itself. If I could marry this album I would. Every song is a masterpiece, as if crafted from the love essence of 70 Islamic virgins, rolled on the thighs of unmarried MILFS and then packaged in the ample folds of a BBW love doll's buttocks. 

Your ears will experience some of the most mind blowing aural orgasms possible from legal frequencies. Indeed, if the pleasure from listening were any more so intense, a group of SWAT officers would burst through your door, and shoot your face off, leaving nothing more than the smile you were sporting from listening to such an epic sexually charged soundtrack. 

Cross everything else off your "To do before you die" list, and write "listen to THE RIGHT 2B BADASS" at the top. How much do I love this album? I have it willed to be played at my funeral, even if I'm not dead."

Thanks for that fantastic review Kevin, I'm sure Those American Girls will love it. The album is real by the way, it just doesn't exist yet, or something. Be sure to check it out when it does come out though! An example of their abilities is below.



٩◔̯◔۶ If you'd like to read more from the [not famous] Kevin Myers, why not try out his book of Love Poems. Be sure to read the comment section for user submitted poems too.