Enda Kenny Hits The Books

When Are The Student Riots Happening?

Well it seems most likely (although by no means certain) that Labour will enter government with Fine Gael. As you can see from the above picture of unelected Labour's Galway-East candidate Lorraine Higgins, there are definite difference between each parties policies.

As happened with the shaky coalition between the Tories and Lib. Dem.'s in the UK, the only thing that seemed to matter were student fees. Fuck everything else, it was only when student felt they might need to pay money for something that the shit hit the fan. So given the sticky situation Ireland finds itself in i.e. no money for fucking anything. How long will it take the students here to start dropping fire extinguishers on Guards.


"STOP THROWING SHIT!" The mantra of the modern youth!

Twitter's Dead; The Twutter Lives #GE11

http://twutter.blogspot.com

The Great Irish Election Of 2011

A few truths about this general election:

• People will not be voting for Fianna Fail because the economic pyramid-scheme they created has been collapsing since 2007. It will have nothing to do wit the fact that they created the pyramid scheme in the first place. If people cared about the way the economy was being run, they would not have voted for Fianna Fail in 2007, or 2002. After all: "When the money keeps rolling in, you don't ask how!"

• The Green Party would have been one of the biggest winners in this years election if they had not kneeled before Bertie Ahern and sucked his dick for a seat in government in 2007. I think their results would have been truly massive for them this year! They would have gotten votes for all kinds of reasons. As it is now, the party is facing obliteration, and I will be delighted when it happens. The biggest irony: I would have voted Green this year if they had not lied to us in 2006:

"I have said before that I will not lead the Greens into a coalition with Fianna Fáil in its present form. The party needs to go into opposition and radically change itself before the Greens could even consider a coalition with it," Trevor Sargent, Green Party leader, 2006.[link]

• Fine Gael are not a fascist party. If they were, we might have some chance of recovery. Enda Kenny is not Hitler; Enda Kenny is a turnip. 

• Sinn Fein are not the IRA. Gerry Adams has never spoken to a murderer... he's only ever faxed his instructions to them. (credit to John McBlain for that one).

• The Labour Party are not just a collection of Joan Burtons. If they were you'd have something concrete to say about them. As is, they are just a back-up Fine Gael party.

• Independents seem like a good choice but they change sides more often than couples at a swingers party. There's always a personal agenda about potholes and hospitals. Beneath all the bitching about morals and corruption, they are merely the mortar that cements the larger parties in government.

• Saying "If you don't vote, you can't complain later" is a load of shite. Ireland doesn't have mandatory voting, perhaps it should, but it doesn't. That mean's we all have the right not to vote. I would suggest that those disgusted with the political system should still go to poll and spoil their vote, but nevertheless, it's not necessary to vote now only to complain about it in future. If that were the case, all those who voted Fianna Fail should have their balls cutoff as part payment to repay the bank loans. Then again.....

In summary: Ireland is fucked, it matters not how or if you vote.

Painting Nationalsozialisten

Jim Corr Abandons Plans For Personal Moon Base

Jim Corr has abandoned plans to build a moon base, in the shape of the Taj Mahal, after a court case was brought against him regarding the matter of a €1.4 million unpaid loan he took out with ACC Bank. Mr. Corr is said to be devastated at the prospect of abandoning his life long plans of living in space. He realised as a child that the Taj Mahal held special "alien" properties that would allow for extreme comfort even in the harsh conditions found on the atmosphere-barren Moon.

Mr. Corr is under no allusion for the reasons this totally unfair case was against him. He said it is all down to "direct reptilian interference". The reptilian beings have already populated the Moon and fear that Corr's appearance there would interrupt their plans for it's use in their enslavement of mankind, which will be happening at the end of 2012. This revolt against humans is totally unrelated to the Mayan predictions of 2012 however. Corr jokes "Don't be mad, the Mayans were idiots."

Corr has agreed to pay off the money he owes, and is feeling positive about what the future will bring. As Corr explained over the phone to a Daily Mail reporter: "Who knows, perhaps this was the best thing that ever happened to me. Maybe I was wasting my time dreaming about a moon base. Everyone knows that the best place to have a base is Mars, but it will take a while to get the dosh together." Asked if he would ever think of joining NASA to pursue his dreams of owning an extra-terrestrial bungalow, Mr. Corr replied "God no! NASA are the ones that blew up the New York Twin Towers!" The case continues.

[ Irish Independent ] [ higher-res image ]

Gerry Adams & David Norris: The Same Person?

A funny thought came over me tonight (you can blame the Fairy Liquid on it) but have you ever seen Gerry Adams and David Norris in the same room together? No? Yes? Ah well, if you did it would all be smokes & daggers. Think about it though. Other than the visual similarities think of the other things: they're both Protestants, they're both gay... I think I'll stop there, I can feel the barrel of an ArmaLite sticking up my arse...

On an unrelated note (not really, but kinda). The "Fairy Liquid" image I linked to was interesting, wasn't it? What do you think of ladies with hairy arms?



It doesn't bother me at all, and even hairy armpits can be kinda erotic in a "extra pair of hidden lady underarm vaginas" kind of way but surely someone who looks as hipster as her would think of giving them a bleach? In the same way that an older man with "Jungle'sque" nostral hair might think of giving both nostril barrels a trim. I wonder does Gerry Adams buzz-clips his arse hair off? No need to ask that about David Norris. Christ, Christ... I'm in trouble again...

World Skiing Championships 2011

The only full race I got to see of this years World Skiing Championships was yesterdays slalom competition, in Garmisch-Partenkirchen, Germany. It was disappointing how the timing of my February mean't I missed of the championships but the race yesterday certainly made up for it in entertainment terms. A great exciting race, but alas, no success for the Germans!


There wasn't much snow around the town, and the slope certainly cut up fast but the whole thing still looked stunning. Credit to all those involved in the video direction, there were some stunning camera angles and tracking shots.



Fanny Chmelar setting a disappointing time in the second run. Christina Geiger was also a big disappointment. I was hoping she would have done better than being disqualified in the first run.


Poor Susanne Riesch. This is only her second time appearing on this blog and it's the second time she's ended up face down in the snow.


The facial reaction of Maria Riesch after seeing her sister crash out in the second run. The full reaction seemed to show Maria coming under more pressure to perform well at her home town, as she was now the sole German remaining to compete for a gold medal.


Mama and Papa Riesch, look on at the finish area.


While the day belonged to the Austrians, taking the gold and silver medals, a disappointed Niki Hosp takes her 18th place result with a pinch of salt [this is my best sports journalism coming out here!].


All the images so far have been taken from the EurospotPlayer HD stream, the above image of French skier, Nastasia Noens, competing in the race comes courtesy of Reuters.

A 3 minute video of screen captures I took of both runs. Enjoy! (or don't).

Micheál "Ming" Martin

Micheál Martin went to milk a cow.
Micheál Martin didnt know how.
Micheál Martin pulled the wrong tit.
Micheál Martin got covered in shit.

[Micheál Martin China racism story] ["Ching Chong China Man" racism]

For what it's worth, I think the impression was an idiotic thing to do, but not all that offensive. If he did, say, a German accent instead ("Ve like ze Irish") no-one would have cared.

Hello. My Name Is Jackie Francis.

In honor of the day that's in it ("Oh Christ, I hate you bitch. Well you're a fucking bastard too." day) I thought I might tell you a short love story about a man named Jackie Francis and his wife Mary Anne "Lizzy" Harper. I'll let the man tell it in his own words.

Hello. My name is Jackie Francis. I was born in Dingle but grew up just outside the village, in Balls Bridge, Dublin. As you can see from my picture, I am a photographer. I'm not a photographer by trade though, it's just a hobby. For a living I work in a well known butchers off Patrick Street in Cork. I'm not a butcher either though, I just work there.

I like to talk about photography as I think it is very nice. I like to photograph all kinds of things. Nature, landscapes, flowers, vaginas, still life, people. I started taking photographs when I was 5. My family were too poor to buy me a camera though so I improvised by using my eyes instead of a camera. I saved up for 5 years to buy a really nice Nikon set-up with a long lens. I don't like Canon though. Canon is shit.

Photography is important to me because it has made me happy all my life. Photography has always been connected to my love life. I met my wife through photography. Below is re-enactment* of the first time I took a photograph of her.

I love my wife. She is beautiful, like my Nikon. I love taking pictures of my wife, when she's out shopping or when she's asleep. My wife is a wonderful woman, I hope to meet her one day.

Thank you Jackie!

*Johnny Logan is a paid actor and is not Jackie Francis [Logan images via bigmentaldisease]

You Get Nothing! You Lose! Good Day Sir!

It's all there, black and white, clear as crystal! Let him speak Joan! Let him speak Joan! Let him speak Joan! Let him speak Joan....



Willy Wonka and Vincent Browne, two characters well able to deal with those acting like spoiled children.

Enjoying A Moment Away From The Political Debate

Enda Kenny shares a similar interest with Mr. Nick Clegg of the British Lib. Dem. Party

Arrangements For Joan Burton's Next TV Appearance

Drastic action perhaps, but somewhat necessary for those who are unable to shut the fuck up. I watched the footage of her infamous appearance on "Tonight With Vincent Brown"; quite astounding. She should have been escorted off the set. Vile behavior! And then she had the cheek to say she was the one treated unjustly. What kind of fucking cunts have we bred for politicians in this country.  The country's truly fucked.
An extract, below...

Enda Kenny Is A Handsome Man

Enda is a techno-wizard. He's knows all about cloud computing, social webs, Ver. 2.0s and the photoshops. He's a big fan of the photoshops. He designs his own election posters. He also starred in Star Trek Deep Space Nine.

Enda Kenny Won't Debate Vincent Browne

Play Enda Kenny's Game Of Chance!

Play and win a lifetimes supply of whiskey and gunshots from a revolver! Deliberately designed to be shit, as 9/10 visitors prefer items that look shit rather than good. Endorsed by Vincent Browne!*

*Not endorsed by Vincent Browne.
[based on Flash tutorial]

I Used To List "Enjoys Movies" As One Of My Interests...

127 Hours (2010)

Back in the beginning of cinema, there was no sound. Also, there was no colour, only black and white. It seems Hollywood wishes to return to these days in the form of orange and blue, and 127 Hours is the worst case I've seen of the "Teal n' Tango" in a long time. Basically, an uncharismatic man gets his hand trapped out in the rocky deserts of America. He's force to chop his hand off. I wish he hacked his head off; it's what I felt like doing half way through. The thing is, I knew of this mans story beforehand and it was far more interesting. The book he wrote contained a lot of inner monologues which this film made a hash of (the part of the film that used a canned laughter track made me groan, and not in a good way). The hand chopping scene itself which I was looking forward to was underwhelming. In summary: a boring film. It felt like it was 127 hours of watching. I drew a picture to sum up the film and it's duo colouring. P.S. Danny Boyle is steadily becoming a director I hate the thought of.


Can you make sense of that? It's a photo-realistic painting of the film. Well, the colours are correct anyway.

Inception (2010)

An enjoyable movie, but nowhere as good as the hype made out. Good story, a sort of Ocean's 11 meets The Matrix but without the balls of David Cronenberg's eXistenZ (1999). In fact, this film could have done with some Cronenberg direction [As an aside, all films should be directed by David Cronenberg]. Once too often the film meandered to a shot which was nothing more than an excuse to show off some CGI, and some of the "Dream Rules" would seem embarrassing even in a Nightmare on Elm Street film. But all in all, not a bad film.

Scott Pilgrim vs. The World (2010)

A very odd film. It's clearly designed at 12 year olds but it contains a lot of sexual references that wouldn't normally make it into a children's film. In one particular scene Scott makes a girl explode from raping the back of her knees. Yes indeed, some themes are more suited to an older audience but I can't imagine anyone over 16 enjoying this film. In summary, even as a little children's film, its still quite shit. It was a struggle not to turn it off half way.

Crazy on the Outside (2010)

This is a bonus review, it's only reason here is to back up the first review about colour in film. Crazy on the Outside is a film starring Tim Allen, that information should be enough for anyone, you either like his films or you don't. Personally I do, even if they're crap. And Sigourney Weaver is in it too, and she's great. So that's all that needs to be said. It's a harmless comedy, in all senses of the term. The films inclusion here is an excuse to display the following unedited screen shot. The entire film is blue and orange.