Obama Plays Hurling With Bertie Ahern

"I have him stunned, Barack... now pull hard!"

My Beemer!

Someone with a lot of pride in their grass cutting job. [source]

Astral7

A concept that took me well over a year to finally knuckle down and get it started and completed. Every aspect was choosen on purpose. The music kept getting flagged by youtube, but that was the song I needed to have, so I altered the pitch slighty and fool the youtube recognition algorithms.

But what does the video mean? Fuck knows! All I know is that it's of cosmic importance. It may be the answer to the question as to why I'm here in the universe (I can only speak for myself and not the rest of you). Looks great in 720p HD too, by the way.

Fine Gael's Dr. James Reilly, Loves Drugs

He loves drugs* so much in fact, that he was proud to be pictured outside Leinster House with his latest purchase from a local Head Shop, a nice little baggie of "cocaine subsitute", amplified.

* As a medical doctor, his has no doubt, a great faith in the "drugs" prescribed to patients suffering from medical ailments. It is hereby declared that this is all I'm referring to when I say that "Dr. Reilly loves drugs", even if he is pictured outside Leinster House with a bag of "recreational drugs".

[this blog post is moderately out of date as it's "one from the vaults"]

1 Girl 1 Cup

"Fatal if swallowed, my love's too much to hold.
A deadly poison, a hot and heavy load.
Fatal if swallowed, a love you can't resist.
Another believer, sealed, with a kiss." [overkill]

Richard Dawkins & Thomas Edison

[ Richard Dawkins ] [ Thomas Edison ]

So, You Go Spastic Over The Word Retard

The word "retard" is once again becoming popular in the lexicon of every day English. It's particularly prevalent on the interent. The only thing that is making more ground on it are the "Oh I can't believe you said the R-Word" or similar statements from "retard" protesters. People really don't like the word, but oddly, these same people will often have no problem using words whose origins are just as murky.

The genesis of this post began years ago, when an argument on the radio raged over the pejorative use of the word "gay". One caller suggested that instead of saying "something was gay" people should instead that "something is lame." This struck me as being rather ill conceived, considering that people who are "lame" are suffering from a defective limb.

I was then again spurred on to write this after reading a blog post over at Big Mental Disease about Michael Noonan "hiding the retard" [Enda Kenny]. "Mike" commented that the use of the word was an insult to the disabled, to which I replied....

"Regarding the word “retard”, I didn’t want to sound like a grammar spastic by explaining it but since Enda came on to comment here himself, I might as well give it a lash.

A quick Google defines retardation to be something which “causes to move more slowly or operate at a slower rate”. With the way Enda Kenny is stalling on the debating debacle, hiding away in a closet all the time and avoiding general PR, I think one could call his behavior quite “retarded” in terms of speaking out in public.

Now, lets look at “retard” as a derogatory term. We don’t like using words like retard and spastic because they are old fashioned terms for physical and mental deformities and hold a certain taboo status. And yet we quite often use the word lame (someone with a crippled limb) without giving it a second thought. One of my favorite words, cretin, would hardly raise an eyebrow with the PC brigade but if we trace back to it’s origins we find that cretinism is a condition of severe stunted mental and physical growth due to deficiencies in thyroid hormones. It really makes one think! Unless you’re a cretin of course.

Finally, to complain about the use of the word retard on a blog called Big Mental Disease is in itself, ever so slightly lame."

I have compiled a short list of words and (Google) definitions that are in the same vein but offer varying amounts of offence:

re·tard/riˈtärd/

Verb: Delay or hold back in terms of progress, development, or accomplishment.

Noun: A mentally handicapped person (often used as a general term of abuse). More »

spas·tic/ˈspastik/

Adjective: Relating to or affected by muscle spasm.

Noun: A person suffering from cerebral palsy. More »

id·i·ot/ˈidēət/Noun

1. A stupid person.

2. A mentally handicapped person. More »

lame/lām/

Verb: Make (a person or animal) lame.

Adjective: (of a person or animal) Unable to walk normally because of an injury or illness affecting the leg or foot: "his horse went lame". More »

cre·tin/ˈkrētn/Noun

1. A stupid person (used as a general term of abuse).

2. A person deformed and mentally handicapped due to a congenital thyroid deficiency. More »

gay/gā/

Adjective: (of a person, esp. a man) Homosexual.

3. Lighthearted and carefree

Noun: A homosexual, esp. a man. More »

Moron "is a term once used in psychology to denote mild mental retardation" [wiki]

So the next time you feel like getting spastic over the word retard, don't be a cretin, and get all lame, because that would be gay.

Next week: "Why your wife should be pleased that you call her a cunt."

The Mystery Of The HBO Logo - Solved [Android]

Back at the start May, I was shooting some video with my phone (you know yourself, home porno and stuff). I was reviewing some of these classics when I noticed something odd with one of the videos. When I previewed it in the phones native gallery app, the original thumbnail would appear initially, but then it would suddenly change to the "HBO - Original Programming". At first I thought I had a video on the phones memory card that I had forgotten about but I was sure I never copied a HBO video onto the card, and I had only recently formatted it anyway.

The fact that the thumbnail kept changing made me a little worried, because while the video was just a short random video of a sitting room*, the tv was on and it just so happened that some genuine "HBO original programming" audio was recorded on the sound track. I was convinced that there was some kind of hideous Android "sub-routine" running which scanned your personal files and cross checked them online for copyrighted material. I see what can be done with Youtube copyright control, we are living in the techno-era after all. The Sky box could have been pumping out subliminal "mega-waves", strobe flashing, or high frequency audio, encoding the owner details of the video.

I eventually figured there has to be a more mundane reason for what had happened; the fact that I couldn't replicate the event proved it. I looked at the hidden files on my memory card and found a folder full of thumbnails, I found the HBO one amidst a lot of other ones for (long deleted) files. It's then that I remembered that while I never copied a HBO video to my phone, I had streamed the Adi Roche "Chernobyl Heart" film from my computer as a test in April, and indeed, the very first frame of that video was the HBO logo. Somehow, the hi-res thumbnail's name got mixed up with my videos name and that's why it showed up, and indeed that's why the thumbnail would morph when I previewed the clip, because it was switching between the two thumbnail resolutions. Case solved.

In a way, I'm a little disappointed that technology hasn't advanced to a stage where the Copyright Police can track video content from 3gp video soundtracks you've recorded on your phone. Then again...

* I had to double check that I didn't write Shitting Room. I have a habit of Freudian slips.

Can You Say What You See?

Give it a go. It's a well used phrase in Ireland over the last few months.
[for personal reference: image completed in GIMP for Linux]

JEDWARD - Reunion Tour: 2035

Make It So

[ original via ]
NB. The original title of this post was going to be "Make It Sow". A word play on sow, as in sowing seeds, and sow, as in, a female pig with her piglets. The editor deemed this too offensive however.

Ryan Chops Ryan

[ original version ]

U U U.... In Unity We Stand (But Mostly Fall)

I felt I needed to explain the last post a little better, so here goes....

I recently decided to try and break away from using Windows operating systems completely, in favor of one of the many free flavours of Linux-Kernal based OSs. I've had a tentative history with Linux. A couple of years ago, I would balk at the idea of using it. At one stage I even came up with this little creation. Things are different now though. Oh yes. For one, I'm no longer upto date with the current Windows version. In fact, I'm two versions out of date, having never touched Vista. So here I am with my aging copy of Windows XP SP3, facing down the time with it becomes a "Legacy System".

I've never bought an operating system. Sure, I've paid for them to be bundled along with a new PC but I've never upgraded outside that. Nor do I like the idea of pirating an OS. Being honest, this is less about morals and more about the fact that I like to trust where my OS came from. So I wanted a change... so I went for the most popular Linux version: Ubuntu.

Thankfully, I switched just in time before the 11.04 distro. I was amazed at how much I liked 10.10. It just did stuff out of the box that XP never did. Nearly any USB device I plugged into it worked straight away. Even my Nokia worked when I plugged it in and I had access to the 3G network within minutes. UI though, that's what made the difference for me. Ok, so things were a little topsy-turvy compared to Windows, but it was all very intuitive and easy to follow. I found myself just booting into Ubuntu, daily. If it wasn't for the one or two programs that refuse to work in WINE I would probably make a switch from Windows completely. Then came 11.04. Mother of dear fucking Christ Almighty. What the fuck is this abomination! And here is the nub of this post: If I had switched to Linux just after the 11.04 "update", I would have uninstalled it with much prejudice and never touched any version of Linux again. WHAT. THE. FUCK. WERE. THEY. THINKING. Unity?? Unity on the fucking bounty, more like!

Standard Gnome3 is apparently just as bad. What kind of fucking spastic thought that making a user type to get an application was a good idea!? If I wanted to type to get an application running, I'd just use the console. Fucking dumbass spastics.

So I Was Using Ubuntu When Suddenly...

True story.

www.FantasyLegBraces.com

You've probably come to this site because you have an interest in Orthopedic Braces for yourself or a friend but may not even be sure what questions to ask. Right? You're also probably a little intimidated by the whole idea. Right? Well my objective is to make you feel as comfortable as possible while answering all your questions regarding braces and to help you obtain the custom pair of braces you've always dreamed of having. All braces are made by an internationally recognized lab.

HI - I'm here to help you.
(This site supplies orthopedic leg braces for theatrical and recreational purposes only! Braces for real medical conditions can not be purchased through this site.)

Websites, filling the needs, for the human fantasists, I salute you!

[ www.FantasyLegBraces.com ]

Start And Stop (Licencing) Services As Needed By Applications [Windows XP]

If you use a piece of software (like Corel's "PaintShop Pro" in the example below) you may be plagued with having to let a piece of licencing run constantly in the background, waiting for you to start said piece of software just so it can authenticate it's licencing key. While it might not matter to some, having superfluousness services running may eventually grind your system to a halt, or worse still, grind your brain to a halt when searching the process tree.

Searching the internet, you'll see that the necessity of running this licencing service is easily bypassed using straight forward file operations on some of the installation files and DLL's of PaintShop Pro. Or indeed, you can easily bypass it by sourcing an illegally cracked version of the software, but what if you want to remain legal or are unable to bypass a service in say, another application. Perhaps you might make use of something similar to what I have done. I launch PaintShop Pro using a custom batch file:


First thing you'll need to do is identy the service. Once done you need to find it's "name". This can be using the Task Manager (CTRL+ALT+DLT) or through Administrative Tools in the Control Panel or you can just run "services.msc". You will need to set the service's running behavior from "Automatic" to "Manual" in the services.msc list also. Once you have all that done, you can sub in the name of the service and location of the program you wish to run, into the script above (explanations below). Or just use the code as is if you're running "PaintShop Pro X3".

1. @ECHO OFF isn't necessary, it just turns off the console prompts.
2. NET START "PSI_SVC_2" this starts the licencing service.
3. START "PaintShop Pro" "C:\Program Files... this starts PaintShop Pro. The "PaintShop Pro" in quotes, is an arbitrary, but obligatory requirement.
4. NETSH Diag Ping Loopback this is a little work around to slow down the batch file so PaintShop loads far enough in that it no longer needs the PSI_SVC_2. All it does is ping the localhost a few times, thus creating a pause. Used as other commands like SLEEP may not be available on all machines. 
5. NET STOP "PSI_SVC_2" and this stops the service once more.

Save the text inside a file with the ".bat" batch file extension.

How To Locate Your Twitter RSS Feed

[UPDATE 10.05.2011] This workaround now no longer works as Twitter has removed the reference the favorites RSS in the pages source. This may be because of instructions like mine here, or just because of coincidence.

This afternoon I was reading a post on staynalive.com (via), discussing how Twitter and Facebook have silently killed off their linkage to a profiles RSS feed. The feeds are still active (at least, the ones I'm subscribed to are) but any reference to them have been removed. Because I'm still somewhat of a Twitter-is-shit person, and enjoy the ability to subscribe to a users entire stream via RSS, I investigated a work-around. The best I could come up with is finding your own RSS feed:

1. Log into your account and (e.g. http://www.twitter.com/YGoblin)
2. View the source of your "Home" page (actually, this will work no matter what page or profile you're viewing, once you're logged in).
3. Search for "rss".
4. You'll find a URL for your "favorites" RSS feed (i.e. http://twitter.com/favorites/147643216.rss)
   
5. Simply subsitute the "favorites" part of that URL with "statuses/user_timeline" (i.e. http://twitter.com/statuses/user_timeline/42198704.rss)
6. Share the RSS feed with people who are, or are not, using Twitter.

Fantasia

via

The Big Three O

I'm the big three-O today (whoop, whoop... USA! USA!) I fucking love birthdays. That statement was neither true, nor sarcastic. Birthdays aren't a big deal for me. They're like going to the toilet actually: just a pile of shit, but kinda of enjoyable at the same time.

I sometimes write up a big birthday posts, full of indulgent items that appeal to me. Being the big three-O birthday today, I should really do something amazing, but I just can't be bothered. Then again maybe I could post just a single image. An image than sums it all up, all the good stuff. An image such as....



I haven't been saving this image for months in advance of this day, in some sort of contrived blogpost idea... no! I actually used this model's legs in the past, for "Ballet 9/11". You can find the original source image here from DeviantArt user [ mjranum ]

I may post again today, depending on how things go, detailing what magic presents I got etc. (petrol vouchers would be most useful). Already I've received a mysterious parcel from Australia. And I've gotten a gift from BigMentalDisease, in the form of an amusing personalised gif animation. What's most amazing is that it's pure coincidence that they did it. I like that.

Click image to see gif (and use up their bandwidth)

The Egg Laying Queen

Watching the big Royal Wedding on Friday last, I witnessed the fuss everyone was making about the wedding dress. I began to wonder about the trailing "train" attached to wedding dresses. What function do they provide, surely it can't just be fashion. As I watched, I was reminded of the distended abdomen of a birthing insect queen. A creature devoid of all other purpose other than blowing out future generations of loyal progeny, and suddenly the trains purpose became clear. "My kingdom for a son, and a son for my kingdom" said the Defender of the Faith. His first wife was called Catherine too...

Joe Duffy: Speed King

Feminism & Abortion

Garda Training College 2011

I heard stories that something similar was floating around the email inboxes of the rank & file Gardai people... [ background ]

How Ruud...

There You Go, I Fixed It

With a little help from Daniel Radcliffe's head...