I've been blogging here for nearly seven years. It's had it's ups and downs. I've posted all kinds of stuff here, from deeply honest personal stuff, to off-the-wall bad taste lunacy. I enjoy blogging, I do it for myself. I've never sought out readership, I just let regular readership grow from natural evolution. If I made my blog private with only myself there to read it, I would continue to blog. Narcissistic, but that's what would happen (in fact, for the first 2 years I omitted this blog from internet search results, as I didn't want other people reading it). That said, I really enjoy the interactions from readers. The idea that people are sometimes entertained from what I put up makes me happy.
What this preamble is trying to achieve is set up a context to what this blog means to me and how I've felt about recent developments within Google's terms and conditions for public profiles. A lot of people have had their Google+ profiles suspended because of the name they chose to use. If it doesn't look right ("John Smith" type names) to Google algorithms, or human Google employees, your profile gets suspended. The scary part is that not only are their Google+ profiles being suspended but stories of their entire Google accounts being deleted have arisen. If that happened to me, that would mean my Google+ profile, my Gmail account and even this blog would suddenly cease to be. From the beginning of hearing of these stories I refused to believe Google would follow through with such draconian measures (especially with old Blogger users like me). It would be nothing less than image suicide; thousands of blogs and gmail accounts vanishing overnight. The stories of deletion however, continue of regardless.
They have said that all private and suspended profiles will be deleted tomorrow [when Google+ is hinted at becoming public]. So do I dare assume that if my Google+ profile remains intact at one second past midnight tomorrow morning; it, my Gmail account, and my blog(s) will be safe from deletion? Safe at least from Google's current "Pseudonym Holocaust" anyway? Or will Google's rebranding of "Blogger" to "Google Blogs" herald a new Internet Order, where only those with Anglo-Saxon sounding usernames will be allowed blog?
After nearly 7 years of faithfully using Blogger, thinking that Google would continue to host it even after I was dead, I have begun looking what other blogging platforms are offering. Perhaps I'm in the minority, but this Google+ fiasco has dented my trust in Google and their overall vision.
Survival Of The Fittest {music}
I rescued this tune from the recycle bin. I wanted music for the image I created above, and I came across something that I was working on last year, as an auditory experiment. I never fully recovered the compression problems which plagued the original, but I kept at it until it evolved it into something listenable. Oh and... The Shamen - Boss Drum.. wut? ;-)
[ download mp3 ] [ original image credits ]
Total Recall (2012): Attack Of The Clones
At Comic-Con this year, the stars of the forthcoming Total Recall remake made an appearance. The trouble is, no-one could tell them apart. Here is Jessica Biel and Kate Beckinsale, not that you'd notice. Perhaps they have the same mother... or plastic surgeon.
Even Colin Farrell has a lookalike. Thankfully that's just the director and won't be appearing in the film.
I hate when films cast two similar looking actors together, it always confuses me, especially if I've only been watching it with my ears. Given the storyline of Total Recall and the two characters Biel and Beckensale, perhaps looking alike is all part of it. Whatever, as long as the "two weeks" woman is in it, a lot of people will be happy. I wonder if the three breasted woman will now have four breasts or something similarly silly. Going by the raft of PG-13 films being pumped out of Hollywood I think the poor woman might have none!
This post is dedicated to Sibling of Daedalus who was the original person to suggest to me that we are all beginning to look the same.
Oh The Ironing Is Sweat
Ironically, Mr. Breivik probably agrees with this Youtube commentator who was all too eager to blame the killings in Norway on Muslims.
Poor Old Nokia
I was inspired to write [continue writing] this post when I read a post over at branedy.net about Stephen (flipity flop) Elop, a little while back. It sounds like it's complete chaos at Nokia. I bought into the "Lets go with Microsoft" thing. I thought it mad enough to work, some what at least, but there has been nothing since then. I was expecting some sort of blitz campaign. A mad dash to get phones on shelves and ads on billboards. Nothing though.
Some history: for thirteen years I've bought, used, and preached from the Nokia pulpit. Some months back I broke from my own 13-year-old [sounds dodgy but bear with me] mold and bought an LG Android touchscreen phone. I felt uneasy and hesitant about this. I don't like touchscreens and I didn't like taking chances away from "good old reliable" Nokia. I desperately needed a new phone. The battery in my Nokia 6500 wouldn't hold a charge and it was beginning to act funny. It would need work done and money spent on it. I figured after 2 years I might as well buy a new phone.
So how has it affected me since acquiring an Android phone? I'm a total convert. Even the niggles of Android are being overlooked. The touchescreen thing is great. The appstore wonderful and everything is is brilliant. First thing I did was install Angry Birds and start playing... It was ok but over hyped. I deleted it soon afterwards. That was but a small blip on the good ship Android.
The phone itself is fine. Slim and iPod-wannabe-ish. No problems other than the fact than build quality is, well... "cheap and cheerful". It has made me lament Nokia's decline. Nokia always produced quality phones, even the cheap and nasty ones. But why oh why did they get lazy with the OS. I really didn't have many of the problems others had with the Symbian OS but you need to listen to how the mass trend is going. A phone's OS is like an engine type in a car: you need a diesel model, a petrol model, a hybrid... if you see electric cars being released and bought up, get an electric thing out there. Fuck your pride. Test the waters with your own "experimental" releases. Nokia didn't do this. Nokia fell asleep, and now they have the weirdest fucking CEO in history. David Brent would do a better job of it.
The Photography Of Vihao Pham
Over the last year a series of photographs have been making their way around the internet. These images include ballerinas posed in urban or unusual surroundings. Doing a tiny bit of searching, I found the owner of these photographs: Vihao Pham.
The most striking discovery about the photographer is his age. I was expecting perhaps a seasoned, veteran photographer of the arts, but no, Mr. Pham is still in his 20's. While his urban and juxtaposed images of ballet are as striking as they are brilliant, his studio work is equally as competent.
There are far too many images to choose from, so I can do no more than highly recommend you visit either his website or DeviantArt profile.
Blackmoon {image + music}
Not sure if this is more a post about the image or the music, but thanks to NASA for the moon image, myself for the image of Blackpool (Cork) and Beethoven for the chord progressions in the music. Image inspired by recurring dreams. Last 90 seconds or so of music is all I was originally going to keep, but the few minutes leading up provide a good exposition.
Blackmoon by Gammagoblin
When Piggies Fly
Mary Mitchell-O`Connor, taking a wrong turn at Albuquerque.
I wasn't going to post anything on "Piggygate" as everyone in Dail Eireann can go and die for all I care, but the more this thing continues to go on, the madder I'm getting. This incident has done untold damage to the efforts of getting more women involved in Irish politics. It shows up how unequal things are for the sexes. Even when the woman in question wants to move on from it, the media and public deem it incorrect for a woman in Dail Eireann to "suffer" criticism, and continue to bring the topic up.
Let's take a reality check here. Six months ago the Prime Minister of Ireland was Brian "fatso" Cowen. He was openly criticised on his size and general slobbish appearance. Simon Coveny tweeted one morning that the Taoiseach sounded hungover, which was an unsubstantiated claim, and Cowen had to apologise after days of constant criticism of him. Mary Mitchell-O`Connor gets called "Miss. Piggy" over what she's wearing and the world says it's the worst thing that's happened since the Holocaust. And lets not forget, the man who made the statement, Mick Wallace, has garnered so much flack from the media and other members of the Dail over what he personally wears that new dress-code rules for the Dail have been drawn up to stop him.
To top it all off, and what got me to do this post... We are told not criticise people on their looks but on their actions, and yet when Luke Flannigan informed other TD's around him that Mary Mitchell-O`Connor was the woman who drove down a flight of steps outside Leinster house, he was criticised for "unfairly bringing up ancient history, that should be forgotten". Yeah man, fuck those penalty points people have for dangerous driving, that's all ancient history! Ancient fucking history, it happened in March!
All that said, why Mick Wallace and "da boyz" where having a big auld laugh and joke in the Dail is another thing, but at least they were present, which is unusual for Irish politicians. I, for one, shall give no special treatment to any politician, no matter what they've got dangling in their pants. All politicians are shit. That's equality right there.
Some typical Mary Mitchell-O`Connor attire... but look at Brian Hayes slipping off to the Dail bar. Slimy fuckers, the lot of them.
The Ricky Gervais MUSE Show
I was watching The Ricky Gervais Show when my brain had a spas attack. My mind drew the picture above, where the trio morphed back and forth between the trio that make up MUSE. I think it was the similarities between Stephen Merchant and Dominic Howard that was the driving force, and head-styles of Karl Pilkington and Christopher Wolstenholme helped. Matt Bellamy and Ricky Gervais are just an amusing couple to swap heads between. Still confused? Well go here then [ musicazon.com ].
Important Stories (Incorporating Possible Cosmic Significance) In The Majestic World Of Lady-Bottoms
Two important stories for you regarding the celebrity lady-women. First, let me address the phenomenon of Pippa Middleton and the coverage her bum-cheeks have been getting. Headlines like these shocked the world:
It's all very exciting stuff except for one fundamental problem: Pippa has no arse. So devoid of all infrastructure to her posterior, newspapers editorialising on her bits, resort to using pictures of her bending over. I'm not the only one to notice the Emperor's New Clothes either, the French are saying 'non' to her assets, and Tinie Tempah doesn't dig it."Kate & William's Royal wedding hijacked by Pippa's backside"... "Pippa's lovely lady lumpage"... "You too can have a Pippa-butt stuck to your back with these simple exercises".
Click here to view original 12MP image (hi-res evidence, just to make sure!)
I knew I had to create this post when there was strong talk of her winning the highly important and newsworthy accolade: the "Rear of the Year" competition. If she had actually won it, such a travesty would surely have ripped a hole in the gusset-fabric of space-time! Then again, perhaps it's good for balance that people fall over themselves for invisible butt-cheeks, after all, some women have complained for years about how much positive coverage the "J-Los" of this world have been getting. And we wouldn't want the stereotypes of Big Bottomed Girls equaling "lazy bitches" to be broken down, now would we. Oh no.
Speaking of Big Bottomed Girls, important developments regarding the legitimacy of Kim Kardashian's back-mountains have come to light. I was informed by Mass Gain Project, a commentator on my "What Liberace's Death May Tell Us About The Mystery Of Kim Kardashian's Ass Cheeks" post, that Kardashian has had her bottom x-rayed to prove it's real to the non-believers. Mr. Mass Gain kindly included a link to a report done by the Daily Mail. I don't know what to make of it. This could give rise to a bigger conspiracy case than 9/11, Roswell and JFK put together! Let us assume [too cool to pun that one] that the x-rays are real, that doesn't negate the fact that she could have had other procedures done (such as fat injections into her rump-lump) to boost her figure. All is not proven at this point. DNA may have to be extracted.
I shall discuss the findings with local paranormal/conspiracy PI, Jim Corr, and see what he thinks. Perhaps Kim's buttocks are two large egg sacks containing the spawn of the Reptilian people. They could rupture in 2012 and release part of the hoard that will enslave mankind and eat our facial tissues.
All I know for sure is: if you had asked me to write a blog post about Kim Kardashian's butt cheeks and my face, before I wrote all this above, I don't think that post would have turned out the same way as this one...
Странный котэ - Strange Cat
This is the youtube video of the now. I haven't been able to stop watching it for the last few days. What strange Russian witchcraft is going on here.
*Bonus Video* [ Derp-Drop ] Crazy derp bungee jumping. And when you get bored of it, do as a commentator suggested and keep pressing 7, for the lulz ;-)
Deep Purple - "Highway Star" - FM MIDI Version
Deep Purple - Highway Star - FM Version - Vocals
Continuing on from my initial FM music blog post a little while back, I have put together an FM version of Deep Purple's "Highway Star" incorporating the original vocal track by Ian Gillan. The MIDI file was sequenced by Gennaro Marchese and was sourced from The Highway Star's midi page. These midi files are particularly special to me because it was thanks to them that I initially learned how to play keyboard instruments in the late 1990's. I would load up the files and trace the notes on the piano roll of each track, gradually working out the necessary fingering. I make it sound like I do something different these days, but no, if I want to play something I can't get by ear, I search for a MIDI file and decipher the notes via a tracks piano roll. A slow process, but effective.
Deep Purple - Highway Star - Complete FM Version
It goes without saying again (for regular readers paying attention) not only did these Deep Purple MIDI files help me learn to play but it was the music of Deep Purple that also made me want to play. While I might not listen to their albums as much as I used to, the music has ingrained itself on me. I can't even look at storm clouds in the sky without hearing the opening strands of Stormbringer in my mind. In fact, if it weren't for Jon Lord in particular, I might never have bothered with learning to play.
The Stuff Of Nightmares
Works even better if you look up-close and cross your eyes; you get a better look at the "creatures". But don't let them cross too much or it won't work... probably best you just stare at the cross.
An Exciting New Venture In TV3 Programming
If only the Irish version of Come Dine With Me were missing the N, it might actually be watchable. "Come Die With Me", with narration by Vincent Browne.
Monday Morning's Monster Mayan Morphine Mash
My longest youtube video ever! Which can mean only one thing: it's guaranteed never to be watched in it's entirety by anyone. Available in 720p, to the mad few who will watch it. It took me hours to render in HD so you might as well watch it in HD. Or if you'd rather just listen to the music, you can do so below:
[ download ]
Having recently decided to give Native Instruments Traktor a go, this is a recording of me, "giving it a go". No PFL or magic midi controller, I had to guess my way around songs with a mouse, and just go with the flow as I faded bits in and tried out effects. Think of this like baking. This me testing out ingredients and baking heats as opposed to an actual finished cake.
I'm quite happy with a couple of sections, and at other points you can hear where I was getting bored. The audio mix is untouched and as is as recorded(warts and all!), except for the voice over at the start, which I added later. I've heard a lot of trance songs with voice overs about, Hashish, Salvia, Mushrooms, DMT etc. but I haven't heard too many with a reference to Heroin. As yes, go for the jugular, and my next song will be about cooking PCP with Meth. You can hear our old friend, Prof. David Nutt, doing the speaking.
Most of this is made up from 4-8 bar loops, but there is an extended piece of Tanta Pena used. You can hear the difference in quantising of the kick drum at parts and it going slightly out of phase, but that's nothing to worry about really.
Audio Credits:
"Brain Waves: Beta-Endorphins" : BBC Radio
"Tech House Loop" : Stock NI Traktor loop
"Tanta Pena" : Juno Reactor
"Electroplasm" : Shpongle
"Oul Tani Kda" : Nancy Ajram
"n00b Ending" : Tim Exile
The video was an after-thought and has no purpose other than to be random. Trying to decipher hidden meanings will lead you into melting your brain. Leave that kind of stuff to professional conspiracy theorists. Actually, I tell a lie. The video does have and ending.
The bulk of the video is made up of footage of Mayan ruins, and I can only feel sorry for the poor Mayans. What have they done to deserve to have their temples desecrated in such a fashion, but Maya is the overall vibe I got while mixing, even if nothing there was necessarily Mesoamerican (have you not heard of the Arabic Mayan tribes? Oh yes, they were very popular in the 700ADs, just after the Islamic invasion. Have you not heard about this in history class?) Oh well, bless me Quetzacotal.
Wet-suits! Not only that, but wet-suits in space! Why not.
The inclusion of the Aerobicise clips is a direct throw-back to an old video I made using a similar Aerobicise video and a mix of music by Hallucinogen (half of Shpongle). It worked together quite well in that one, as the repetitive movements added to the trance vibe. I think at times in this one they look like a cross between psychedelic dancing mushrooms and geometric hopping frogs.
There's already been an ad. slapped onto the Youtube video by the "Music Publishing Rights Collecting Society" for found copyrighted material, and pretty much everything in this video has full copyright on it, so don't be surprised if the whole thing disappears at some point.
Video Credits:
[ archive.org ][ youtube.com ][ youtube.com ][ youtube.com ][ youtube.com ][ youtube.com ][ youtube.com ][ youtube.com ][ youtube.com ][hubble.nasa.gov][2006.elevate.at]
Into Your Head, Down Your Gullet, & Out Your Arse
I made a t-shirt for Neal and his podcasting at intoyourhead.com but he told me that sort of thing is illegal, so I'll have to take it down now. Here's a clip of one of his podcasts, show409 to be exact. He's reading out a comment I left him on an earlier episode.
Show409 by user9356733
Thumb Prints Are Different
A few months back (a lot of months actually) I read a blog post by nitro2k01 in which he outlined a new mousepad he had crafted for himself. I noticed in one of the pictures a similar mouse to one of my own, but the area worn down by the thumb during use, was in a different position to mine. I wonder if how one holds a mouse can indicate anything deep and philosophical about the person? Just wanking grip perhaps? Who knows, but fascinating stuff!
Blasphemous! Jesus Walks On The Waters
John Waters is big on fathers rights, often passionately pounding the table he is seated behind as he argues the importance of a child having a male role model. Yet when it comes to a child having two fathers, he starts spitting homophobic venom about how that's immoral and biologically unsound. A very odd character. He recently took part in a "Paint me, I'm Fucking Naked" program for RTE. He said every "gobshite" was going to have a field-day with it. This Gammagobshite wasn't going to bother with it, I did a bit of Tweeting at the time of the show, that was good enough for me. I have no agenda set against this man, if he has the balls to show his mickey in a homoerotic painting, more power to him! But then, when I went back and watched the start of the show, which I missed first time around, I spotted one of my pictures on his Mac Book, amidst a Google Image search he did, and then he started talking about "gobshites writing shite" on the internet. Well sure, he only went and made it personal then!
I also wanted to do a post on the Catholic hullabaloo regarding the "bikini-clad" Virgin Mary on display in University College Cork. I decided to merge the two themes into one. It's all art you know! I've often thought of Waters as a kind of Jesus character anyway, so here he is naked, with his mother gettting ready to do some swimming at the beach. Let's all rejoice in the beauty of one of god's great creations: the skin organ.
Insidious (2010): A Musical Review
This may be the first film ever reviewed by a musical soundscape! (but probably not) If you've seen the film, you'll understand it. If you haven't it should prepare you for the, in my opinion, ill thought-out and badly executed schism half way through. A real pity as I was really enjoying the film up to that point...
Insidious (audio) Review by user9356733
The Phenomenon Of Planking, Defined.
Plankity, plankity, plank de plank... I actually like Pat Kenny, but one has to be fair in love and war.
*Bonus content*
Planking spotted in Greek riots! God bless those Greek comedians...
Joe Duffy's "Fiver Friday"
I hope you all made use of Joe's magic "Fiver Friday" offers! The whizzkids in RTE even made up special "Five Duffy" notes. I'm not going to make the obvious joke about RTE making Joe so rich that they're even printing his own currency for him now.
The idea for these notes were for you to use in your local shop or services place, to advertise the fact that you were getting involved in the goodwill effort being made to get Ireland back on it's feet. Hurrah, and all that shite. The day may have come and gone, but the spirit lives on, an so do the graphics. You can still download the pdf file from the RTE LiveLine website, so you may still make use of the fake note, however you so wish...
The Cross
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