Computer Love

Everyone needs a bit of computer love from time to time. Even Bridie needs the "Computer Liebe". She's still getting offers from horny internet users asking if she'll "take her cattle off" in front of a webcam.


I love this 1971 promotional image for Digital's PDP-8/E "minicomputer". It's just so brazen and camp, and unlike anything you would see today. I like to think it was a result from a miscommunication between the CEO of DEC at the time and his advertising department when he asked them to show the PDP-8 "booting up".  I love it so much I might have it turned into a T-Shirt to send to Leo Laporte.


Originally this ad for this digital "romance" game must have been the cutting edge of decadence, before descending into laughable cheese as the years passed, only to be respected as the art that life began to imitate. How often does one take their laptop/mobile device into the bed these days without thinking for a quick "browse of the interweb". You know that "Go web, go!" joke don't you? Excellent.


Technically, this 1983 song is about loving the computer device itself but it also fits in quite nicely with the subsequent realisation of people romancing each other through computers. From one of my most favorist albums ever: Ian Anderson's "Walk Into Light".

Pat Kenny Loves His Neighbours

 [context]

The Way My Brain Works

I was enjoying this video made by Michael Lehet, discussing how the now famous clock wall feature was not going to be part of his new aparment, when I got hooked on the sound all the clocks were making. A catchy chaotic rhthym I thought, and then I realised it was near identical to the outro of "And the Mouse Police Never Sleeps" by Jethro Tull. Have a listen. It's just a little bit of fluff, but isn't it fluff that makes the world go around, well that and momentum and stuff.

One of the first video's I ever watched on Youtube was actually a video linked to by Michael on his old blog. This was back in the good old / bad old days when everyone was trying out Youtube and chancing the limits to what could be uploaded. I seem the remember the video involved a "woman" lying on a couch when suddenly a part of anotomy not normally found on a woman, grew out of her crotch. I think Michael called it a train wreck if memory serves me right, and I called it and atomic bomb blast.

Michael Dell (And The Apple Connection)

I recently started following Michael Dell on Google+. It's amusing to watch as people take it upon themselves to hijack his posts there and comment about issues they are having with various Dell machines they bought. I've bought and used many Dell computers over the past 15 years. The machine I'm using to write this post is a Dell desktop. Dell were the paragon of PC's for years but then people wised up and realised that all computer manufacturers use the same components in their machines. I do think something was lost with Dell's fall though.


Michael Dell  recently used the "hangout" feature on Google+ to talk about various topics including the the takeover of Motorola by Google, as well as how Dell's manufacturing presence in Poland is growing [lulz], but more on that later. A very fascinating use of the Google+ feature.

Michael Dell was very quiet when Steve Jobs announced his resignation from Apple though. Not surprising as Dell was probably trying his best to forget how he was once asked in 1997 what would he do if he were in charge of Apple Inc. His now infmaous reply is as follows: "What would I do? I'd shut it down and give the money back to the shareholders,"[cnet]. In 2007 Apple Inc. surpassed Dell's value on the NASDAQ and continued to rise as Dell's shares fell.

Have a look at the graph below to get an idea of Dell's rise and fall. [google finance]


Dell's main manufacturing base was located in Limerick, Ireland, for nearly 20 years. In 2009 Dell moved most of it's operations to Poland and China. During their existence in Limerick, Dell were a major source of employment and because of this  "[Michael] Dell received an honorary doctorate in Economic Science from the University of Limerick in honor of his investment in Ireland and the local community and for his support for educational initiatives.^{[29]" [wiki]}

It was because of this UL doctorate and then subsequent departure of Dell manufacturing from Limerick that made me scoff at a tweet created by Stephen Ryan, pontificating the departure of Steve Jobs as CEO of Apple Inc. Whether you think Apple are the greatest thing since bubble gum or not, they are still just a corporate machine. If the wheels of profit slow down, they will drop Cork operations like a heavy box of smelly Apple Newtons.

I hold no animosity towards Michael Dell, as many others (particularly those from Limerick) do. Afterall, if anyone should be complaining about Dell moving it's operations from a country, it's the Americans. Plus, Dell still have a significant commercial presence in Ireland. I've never had a problem with Dell hardware except for their more recent Vostro line. Complete shite, so they are. Nothing more than crap thrown together, at a dime a dozen.

Gay Mitchell Seeks Presidential Position

Another man who want's to be the next Irish President. In his spare time he likes to write letters asking the American justice system to take specific murderers off death row. He has pledged his life to Enda Kenny, and he believes that homosexuals are touched by Satan.

Don't Underestimate Steve Jobs' Sense Of Humor

"Dictators ban satire because even a tyrant can be toppled with humor. Death and illness are the greatest tyrants."
Gammagoblin, 2011.

Fair play to Steve Jobs, he's not made the same mistake as Hitler, he's quitting while he's ahead. There will be no Russian Front for Jobs. Only a week before he stepped down as CEO of Apple Inc., many were asking where are Apple going to go from here. It's hard to see what else they could slap an Apple logo on... iToaster, iKettle, iToilet, iColostomyBag. Does that mean they will just keep renewing the now staples of the Apple brand (iPod, iPhone, iMac etc.) or are they working on devices we don't yet know that we need?

Some have been saying that Jobs stepping down as CEO is his greatest masterstroke. Well I know the man is ambitious, but faking cancer? Come on now. Everyone knows that Freddie Mercury faked AIDS just so he could write music with Elvis in private, but I don't think Steve has anything to gain from maintaining a supermodels figure. Obviously the iPhone5 is going to outsell everything that has ever been sold before. Nothing like sympathy to loosen the wallet, but jeez, out of all the dirty tricks Apple are up to with patent laws, having their ex CEO pretending to be dying isn't one of them.

Perhaps Steve has a big bag of patents lined up for the new CEO to continue with. Perhaps Steve will become a bit mad like Nikola Tesla did in his later years and we'll get to see an iDoomsDayMachine! Now there's an Apple product I'd buy.

[ original post seen in image ]

They Does Be Stealin' Ma Ideaz Again

I spotted this cover of Septembers issue of German satirical magazine, "Titanic". The headline reads: "London uses Breivik: Youth Riots Stopped". The concept is quite similar to my earlier post about the Anders Brievik and London Riot incidents happening at the same time, in the same place.

 

Given that probably a thousand people thought of something similar, I'll forgive them this time. But it got me thinking: If only I was Steve Jobs, I'd be taking patents out on all my posts, whether original or not. Can you patent a joke by the way? "Knock, Knock... Who's there? Go fuck yourself! Fair enough."

Real Hair? Dear God!

I was listening to a woman on the Colm Hayes 2FM radio show today, talk about how her 8 year old daughter wants to get her hair cut and donate it to charity. Then I saw the following video for the "Fuck My Face" sex toy this evening. The man says it uses real human hair.... dear Mary mother of Christ on a dick! Reverse, reverse! All hands to battle stations! Actually no, all hands away from battle stations!! Where exactly does this sex-hair come from!?!?!

Mega masturbator! 
video via [ naughty bits ]

Amiga Walker (A2400)

Dear god what an ugly machine! As one put it, it looks like a hoover! Thankfully it's 15 years old and only a prototype. Check out [ vincentperkins.com ] for more info.

DETAILS

Project Started: Dec 1995
Project ended: November 1996
Developed by: Escom

SPECS

CPU: 68030-25Mhz
GFX: AGA graphics chip
Ram: 2mb Chip, 4mb Fast
1x PCI port, 1 Psu
500mb Hard Drive
CD-Rom
1.44mb High Dens Disk

Music Review: "THE RIGHT 2B BADASS"

A special guest post by Kevin Myers* (not the famous one, the other one... that just happens to look like the famous one [non-liable disclosure]).

Judge Judy* has given this review 6/10 on the OUTRAGIOUS scale. "It's good to be informed."
(*not the famous one, the other one... that just happens to look like the famous one [non-liable disclosure]).

Kevin Myers - Aran Islands, 2011 "I often find myself masturbating to music. Mostly it's just because it's on in the background, but occasionally it's the music itself that I find arousing. A vibrant choral opus or keyboard concerto that really quicken the lust-stroke, but this new album "THE RIGHT 2B BADASS" by a pair of young American sisters calling themselves, aptly, "Those American Girls" has really taken the wet biscuit. Their raspy gasps and venereal moans, that seem to emanate from erogenous gullets, make the listener want to spring up from their seat, strip off, and beat the one string trouser banjo to the rhythm! [ed. Good lord Kevin, you've certainly had your Weetabix today haven't you!] 

I've never felt like falling in love with a pop star, let alone two... let alone two pop star sisters, let alone two cartoon pop star sisters, let alone... well you get the idea.... and I don't want to do so here either. What I do feel like falling in love with though, is this album itself. If I could marry this album I would. Every song is a masterpiece, as if crafted from the love essence of 70 Islamic virgins, rolled on the thighs of unmarried MILFS and then packaged in the ample folds of a BBW love doll's buttocks. 

Your ears will experience some of the most mind blowing aural orgasms possible from legal frequencies. Indeed, if the pleasure from listening were any more so intense, a group of SWAT officers would burst through your door, and shoot your face off, leaving nothing more than the smile you were sporting from listening to such an epic sexually charged soundtrack. 

Cross everything else off your "To do before you die" list, and write "listen to THE RIGHT 2B BADASS" at the top. How much do I love this album? I have it willed to be played at my funeral, even if I'm not dead."

Thanks for that fantastic review Kevin, I'm sure Those American Girls will love it. The album is real by the way, it just doesn't exist yet, or something. Be sure to check it out when it does come out though! An example of their abilities is below.



٩◔̯◔۶ If you'd like to read more from the [not famous] Kevin Myers, why not try out his book of Love Poems. Be sure to read the comment section for user submitted poems too.

San Pedro De Atacama

by art_in_motion219 [flickr]


Exif data

Camera	Canon PowerShot SX20 IS
Exposure	0.004 sec (1/250)
Aperture	f/8.0
Focal Length	26 mm
ISO Speed	200
Exposure Bias	0 EV

Date and Time (Original)	2011:04:14 16:02:29

For Your Consideration

 As an addendum to the previous post. Mad magazine and Alfred E. Neuman...

Woah! A Child Invents Solar Energy, Solar Panels, The Fibonacci Sequence, Trees... All In A Lazy Afternoon. I Am So Fucking Amazed.

Let me say one thing first: the fact that a child of 13 is not inside pulling his mickey all day, and instead is outside doing science stuff is fantastic! The child should be awarded for that alone. What he shouldn't be though, is pandered over a fucking nonsense discovery he made.

Aidan Dwyer is a 13 year old boy who's name is flying around the internet at the moment because he won some award for discovering that if you place solar panels at different angles, you capture more energy than if the panels are only facing one direction.... just think about that for a second won't you. Ok let's move on. He tied it in with the Fibonacci order of leaves on tree branches and dressed it up in a nice little package. Great, good for him! What's not so good is how many people think there is something amazing about this. Where ever this story is covered, you will see comments from people like "OMG how come the science people has not done this b4!!?" and "aren't humans so stupid, we can't even copy nature" Except, that we have. Let me spell out this big word for you, and I'll link it to wikipedia for your further study:

HELIOTROPISM

In case you're too lazy to read the wiki article, heliotropism is the behavior of plants to constantly move their foliage and/or flowers so that they always face a light source. It is similar to phototropism, but happens on a daily basis. And it was discovered by Leonardo Da Vinci, no less, 500 years ago. Here is a video of it in action, in case it still does not compute for you. [I would have embedded it here but it's got the bloody copyright violations going on]

 The big blue tree of doom!

This behavior in plants maximises their ability to absorb sunshine, more so than any particular order of their leaves. So what about it? Well we've copied it, that's what about it. The next time your on a motorway, have a look at the top of the SOS phone booths. You'll see a solar panel on the top, and this has been fitted to a servo which allows it to move so it always faces the sun; heliotropism, as found in nature, copied by man. Could you imagine what a steel tree on the top of the unit would look like, with all its branches and multiple solar panels flailing about it. And do you think the heliotropic solar collectors found in the desserts around the world would benefit from being organised in the shape of giant trees? No. Fair play to the child for doing more than discovering how his knob works, but he didn't find the grand theory of everything, I'm afraid, so let's move on. The very best of luck to him in his future endeavors! Hopefully he'll pick up a scholarship or something.

The Golden Ass!

As a sort of epilogue, let us address the topic of the Fibonacci Sequence. Fibonacci, it's great stuff. I love it! But you shouldn't go nuts over it. You can find the sequence anywhere if you look hard enough, but that doesn't mean it's always meaningful. Take for example, when I found the Fibinacci Ass. What does it mean. Nothing. Or does it? Perhaps I should re-investigate doing a thesis on it again. I might get myself a prize.

Adele Is On A Lot Of Drugs, Or Not Enough

"Whenever I am about to eat meat, I always see my little dog's eyes."
Adele - BBC Radio1, 2011.

* gimp 2.6 

Take The Scarlet Johansson Paedophilia Test

Congratulations, you passed... collect your cap and gown at the end of the hall.

Us here in the Riemann's Cut offices are wondering if Scarlet has had a nose job. Extra credits on your deploma if you answer correctly.

Steve Ballmer Reacts To Google Acquiring Motorola

I did this soon after I heard the news of Google acquiring Motorola, and it turns out that Microsoft were after Motorola too. If I had heard that news beforehand I would have ended the image with: "You sank my battleship".

Take Me To Your Leader

This man want's to be the next President of Ireland. Thank god the presidency holds no authority, that's all I can say. Not that I wish to insult the poor man here, who has let himself get involved in the most god awful weird publicity photo I've seen this quarter. He looks like a cross between a really shit magician and a paedophile Dracula.

I just don't know enough about Sean Gallagher to call it. He's one of those "Dragon" people or something. You know the ones entrepreneur funding people: "I see that round thing you've invented but I don't think their will be much need for these... what do you call them again, 'wheels'"? Sure the very best of luck to him, whoever he is.

Geri & Keri: Adventures Of Senior Medical Simulaids

Meet GERi & KERi, the hottest bunch of swingers that you're ever bound to meet, this side of 90!


It's always a party on the geriatric ward when GERi & KERi are about!


They spend so much time drugged up...


... that they hardly notice when the staff try to break their arms...


or even remember what sex they are!

There are loads of medical aids to look  through at simulaids.com, but my personal favorites are the ones involving babies. If I had the money to throw away, I'd definitely buy this pelvis one with the gooseneck fetus head. It's like something HR Giger would have on his desk. I'd also mod it into a desk lamp so that light shone out of the baby's mouth, down the birth canal. In fact, if I won the lottery, I think I'd have an entire room of medical simulators that I would wow the guests with.

One Day, You Spot Your Neighbor Doing This

I must say, I'm not sure how I'd react if I saw my neighbor doing cartwheels in a zentai/Speedo combo. A "zentai" for those not familure with the internet, is a Japanese term for a skintight one-piece outfit, usually made of Spandex.[wikipedia]

I must admit, the phenomenon and name are new even for me. It seems to be another fetish (not necessarily sexual [but then again, Freud would say everything is sexual]) that appeals to the dehumanising of the individual which I can, admittedly, see the appeal to, but I'm still not sure if I'd like to see my next door neighbor casually doing this in the garden.

Would things be different if it were a woman? Good question! No, I don't think it would. The face covering is what makes it odd. Although, I guess it could be some kind of sexy Burqa. Skin tight burqas? We've really gone down the rabbit hole with this one! The woman in the picture [click for larger] looks a bit like an alien too. Muslims from Mars! Ah here...

Back On Google+

In case you haven't heard, Google reinstated my Google+ profile during the week, after I asked them to review it. I removed the Latin Gamma character and just went back to calling myself Gamma Goblin (plus, changed my profile to read like someone on death-row pleading for their life) and it seemed to do the trick. My profile came back to life 24 hours later without a hitch.

Of course, Google had to then come out with a scary black&white statement about deleting accounts using pseudonyms later in the week, and while this is slowly killing off my enthusiasm for Google+, I don't think my account will end up being suspended again. With the way they want to integrate Google+ with everything else, I just can't see them deleting 7 year old accounts.

Like I mentioned, Google seem to be doing everything in their power to kill off Google+ before it gets started. Oh well, hopefully thins will be the last post about Google+ and pseudonyms (fingers crossed but breath not held).

In honor of my reinstatement on Google+, have some free Google+ invitations! You don't have to do anything other than click on the link, so all of you "fuck off, I don't want an invite" people, can have a look around Google+ without anyone knowing. Just call yourself something like Gay Burn, or Gerri Rhian, or George Busch, and you'll be sorted. Not sure how to do multiple URL invites at once so I might have to do this one by one. Links in comments.

https://plus.google.com/101726765502335231327

What A Wonderful World This Would Be

 If bad shit happened at the same time, in the same place, to the same people.

During the events of this week, I began to wonder if Anders Breivik is allowed keep track of currant affairs, and if so, what does he think of the London Riots. I wondered if he thinks these riots are somehow connected to his murderous rampage in Norway. I wonder if he thinks this is the beginning of a new European resident V. immigrant war. I wonder does he realise that people just wanted to steal carpet.

After writing the paragraph above, I have read that Breivik is being held at Ila prison, where "he is banned from receiving post, reading newspapers, watching TV or listening to the radio. He is only allowed to see a priest, doctors or his lawyer." It doesn't say if he is allowed on 4chan or not but I'm guessing the computers in that Nazi era prison would be very old and wouldn't have the necessary megachips to support HTML.

Moon-Cat Travels To Planet Trimethylxanthine

Work commissioned for Neal.

Brain Deposit #3

Es Ist Für Mich.

Watching "Das Leben der Anderen" as I install LinuxMint 11.

I tried out Linux Mint last week on recommendation from Grandad. I actually took a chance and installed it on someone elses machine first, to try and entice them into the world of Linux. It was a risk because I hadn't used it before but it came with more stuff than Ubuntu (and has none of that Unity interface) so it seemed a better choice. It worked out well anyway. It looks a bit "Linux'y" out of the box, but with a few changes to the appearance settings you can get it looking rather flashy. I'm not sure if the other person is all that taken with a non Microsoft OS but I was quite impressed, and I have decided to move away from Ubuntu and use Mint instead. Who knows, maybe in a months time I may move again, straight forward Debian perhaps.

The BBC were showing a German film last night as I was installing Mint. Das Leben der Anderen (2006) is a film set in East Germany during the Cold War in the 1980's, and revolves around a Stasi officer monitoring the audio from hidden microphones in a German playright's apartment. It was slow to get going but I found myself being drawn into it as it went on. I think that was a major strength of the film. There was a subtle, but exponential build up to the ending moments, which were genuinely powerful and moving. I can't rate it highly enough. If you're looking for a film to watch (foreign or even non-foreign) you won't go far wrong by checking it out.

Please

Taking liberties with one of Vihao Pham's images, but anyway... Dancer is Joy Womack.

Brain Deposit #2

What Else Is David Norris Trying To Hide

Did you see what I done thar? Yes, I thought I deserved a little bit of headline link baiting. The image of his website is just the standard 403 error forbidden content error given out by web servers hiding folder contents. It's a nice way of approching the topic of David Norris, post presidential campaign destruction.

I never liked the idea of David Norris running for Irish President. Not because I thought he wasn't up to the job, but because I thought the job is totally pointless. We have a government with a Prime Minister position, we don't need a pseudo-monarchy head. International ambasador? Sure don't they all call themselves that when they are off on junkets anyway. No, the whole thing is a total waste of time. So I was always 50/50 on whether I would vote for Norris at election time. And now due to external circumstances, my mind has been made up: I will be simply spoiling my vote when the time comes around to it.



How does all this affect my views of Norris as a person then? Well it doesn't really, not personally anyway. I still think he's a nice guy, and a great speaker to listen to. It would be all too easy to say however that he just wrote a letter, no big deal. He wrote a letter attempting to use his political position to get a more leanient sentence for a friend guilty of statutory rape in another country. I'm afraid that's not on. Ignoring the ins and outs of the case completely, if he felt that strongly about it at the time, he should have decalred it openly and faced political suicide back then.

All that said, it's not the most damning thing ever done and it wouldn't have directly cost him the presidency. Even cretinous people like Michael Lowry and Jacky Healy Rae could get away with worse kinds of shit, but not if they were running for president. And that drags up a whole other kettle of fish about the way Presidential candidates are elected. If put to the people, Norris would probably still be elected president, just. But to get to that stage you have to jump through hoops with your peers, and they are all so corrupt they dare not bring the spotlight onto themselves by supporting a man in trouble.

It doesn't matter if all the others have done worse. It doesn't matter the details of the statutory rape case. It doesn't matter how good or bad he would have been as president. All that matters is that when it comes down to it: David Norris, like the rest of his ilk, will regretably, always be seen as politically...

Terence McKenna Theories, Animated

A touch of taking the mickey with this one, but good fun nevertheless. It's based on McKenna's theory that human consciousness was created by our early humanoid ancestors eating pyschadelic mushrooms due to diatary nescessities caused by climate change. [video via]

Two videos explaing the theory, the one on the left being McKenna himself, and a little more "balanced" view from Joe Rogan, on the right hand side video.

Google+ Ain't Big Enough For All Of Us

My final Google+ post before I got suspended. Lighthearted fun.

The Google people kicked me off the Google+ machine. They said I wasn't "a real person". I ask them though, if you cut me, do I not bleed? Nevermind, I shall return at some point if only as one of those "entity" profiles they suggest I wait for. An "entity", what the fuck am I mean't to be, a ghost? I'm certainly not a rock star. Or maybe I am?... Fuck it, yes I am. Thank you Google, I am now a rock star. Watch me live the rock & roll lifestyle as I throw things out the window, starting with my Android phone...

Blogger and Gmail have remained untouched and that's all I was really concerned with. In fact, if I get to keep the unlimited Picasa Web service I might not even bother with Google+ (until they inevitably force me to have a profile at some point in the future of course. Fickle people, them.) Ron Mael wouldn't take none of this nonsense, no sir!

Wowing The Queen

When I hear people going on about how great Mary MankyCheese is as a president I feel like smashing their heads off a wall. She has been an awful, uninspiring, watery, pandering president who's only claim to fame is that by in large she didn't fuck anything up, like writing a letter about a sex offender for instance. The only time I ever heard her doing anything was when she swallowed holy communion or something.

I finally had enough of her though when the British Queen came to Ireland and read out some "phonetically written" Gaeliga. "Wow, wow, wow" was our President's response. "Oh fuck off" was my reaction to that. "Christ I'm going to be sick" was another. Talk about being patronising. Ah well, good luck to you when you leave the Aras, Mary, the next President is bound to be just as shit.

In summary: Ireland doesn't need a president.

Soviet Space Program: Buran - Crew Insignia

Rooting around in my "extended" archives, I came across this sticker which sports the crew insignia for the first manned flight of the Soviet/Russian reusable spacecraft: Buran.


The Buran Shuttle OK-1K1 was visually similar to the US Space Shuttle but it only ever made one (unmanned) flight into orbital space before the program was canceled in 1993. It is northworthy to mention that up until last year, with the launch of Boeing's X-37, the Buran was the only spacecraft that was safely launched into space and back again in fully automatic mode.

That specific Buran spacecraft, which orbited earth, was destroyed in 2002 when the roof of Kazakhstani hangar it was being stored in collapsed, taking with it the lives of seven people. Five Buran space program shuttles were put into production in total, however only the OK-1K1 was fully completed.

After the destruction of the Space Shuttle "Columbia" in 2003, the Russians began to investigate the possibilty of bringing the Buran space program back into service. Most of the equipment and Buran shuttles have long been in a state disrepair however and the idea was eventually scrapped. The idea to reuse Buran spacecrafts was once again investigated with the recent retirement of the US Space Shuttle program, and with difficulties and spiraling costs in Russia's other space programs, Kilper and CSTS.


I decided to update this post with an image of one of the derelict shuttles, just so you get an idea of what state some of them are in. It's a bit sad really. More images here at darkoutpost.blogspot.com

Parrot

This drawing is years old, but I still remember getting bored after finishing the face.