Saturday, December 31, 2011

Black Swan (2010)


I’ve been promising to review Black Swan before the end of the year, ever since a review was requested by Sdaedalus months ago. Now, with mere hours to go, I am writing it.

The most condemning, and yet honest, thing to say about Black Swan is that it’s not a film about ballet. In fact, ballet has little to do with the story. Even though the story intertwines itself with the story of Swan Lake, it is still nothing more than a device, a backdrop, for the plot to flow over. It could easily have been a story involving, a singer, or actress, or any other performing profession. Indeed, it was this use (or lack there of) dancing that I found most disappointing about the film.

Thomas (Vincent Cassel), the character of the dance choreographer, promises Nina (Natalie Portman) a more “raw and visceral” version of Swan Lake. Well, neither the film, nor the production of Swan Lake in the film, turned out to be all that visceral. A story involving the topic of a ballerina descending into personal madness, screams for the use of abstract, contemporary, interpretive dance, and yet, no such element was present in the film. If you watch another popular ballet themed film, The Red Shoes (1948), you'll see that it is full of dance, and not some awful disembodied CGI dance either. That film includes over 15 minutes of a continuous staged version of Red Shoes, and benefits greatly from it. More dance in Black Swan would have improved it a great deal in my estimation. I swore I wouldn't mention his name in this review, but I can’t help but feel that a more accomplished director like David Cronenberg would have done a better job in this regard; capturing a synergy between madness and dance.

Cronenberg is a director who understands how movement, and not necessarily that of an actor, can be so much more communicative than any spoken word. He is also a master at developing complex, non-conformal relationships between characters. Black Swan attempts this and fails. A film by Cronenberg may have given us more. Take for example, the stairs scene in his A History of Violence (2005). Rarely does one get to see coitus in a film, with as much complexity and power reversal, as we do in that scene. We didn't get this complexity in Black Swan. The most that the viewer gets subjected to are lame attempts at tension, by physical domination; a maudlin sexual power-play between characters. Even the scenes of Thomas groping Nina are tame. If you want to see a truly frightening scene involving a dance teacher and her pupil, check out Isabelle Adjani's performance in Possession (1981), where she addresses the camera while taking pleasure in torturing a child dancer.

The director of Black Swan, Darren Aronofsky, has a history of making films with scenes involving lesbian sex. The seedy double-dildo scene in Requim for a Dream (2000) comes to mind. In Black Swan we get lapping at Portman’s crotch (although it could have easily been her belly button, such was the poor execution). Perhaps Aronofsky should just set aside a Saturday on a lazy weekend, and make himself a cheap and cheerful porno, just to get it out of his system once and for all. At the very least, he might discover how to direct such scenes in so they don’t come across so horribly fake and tacky.

What is most unfortunate about my dislike of Black Swan, is the way it has made me reflect on my original opinion of Aronofsky’s earlier film Pi (1998). For years, I have listed this as one of my favourite films, and indeed, if it were not for my viewing of Black Swan I would still be happy to have it listed there. Unfortunately though, my romantic memories of watching it through college were shattered when I rewatched it again after seeing Black Swan. It is, medicore at best. All the cool and “intellectual” stuff I thought was in it about deep mathematics comes across as nothing more than light weight number theory clap-trap, as if Aaron spent the afternoon before filming reading a pampflet on the topic. It’s still an enjoyable film to watch though, and at least in this one, Aronofsky refrains from gracing us with his lesbonic fantasies.

To give a final verdict on Black Swan, I find myself recalling stories of people killing each other while watching the it. I don’t think it’s that bad by any stretch of the imagination. It does have it’s moments and perhaps if one cares less about the dancing elements they might enjoy it more, but I still find myself thinking about the terrible CGI, the ham fisted intergration of Tchaikovsky's work into the score, the poor acting of the annoying actors playing wooden characters... If a numerical value suits the reader better, then I give it a very generous 5/10, it gained and extra mark for bringing ballet back into pop culture, and for Natalie Portman's eyebrows.

* I created "Les Cygnes et Les Corbeaux" a few days after watching Black Swan. It seems highly probable that it was inspired by my disappointment in the film.

Friday, December 30, 2011

Leo Laporte: Sexual Freeek


While I was offline (it happens), Leo Leporte decided to release his cyber-jizz all over the web. It turns out, he is having some sort of a relationship with TWiT CEO, Lisa Kentzell, and a "scandalous" sex-chat between the two was inadvertently displayed by Laporte during a "This Week In Google" netcast, that he was hosting. Well, aren't we all shocked! No, neither am I.
Me [Laporte]: come over. I'm naked in bed (8:13 am)
[Laporte]: waiting for you. the door is open (8:13 am)
Lisa Kentzell: I love you. (11:48 am)
[Laporte]: i still smell and taste you. i adore you. (12:13 pm)
I don't know Laporte for as long as most others. I only started watching TWiT this year, after they moved into the TWiT Brick Shit House thing, but I tell you, from the moment I saw Laporte and Kentzell on screen together, I just assumed thy were an item. To me, it was as plain as day. Stuff was said, stuff was done, that extended way past normal colleague banter and horseplay.

The Gawker article came just days after a heated TWiT debate about piracy, where Laporte argued that the old model of ownership is now defunct: he's [roughly] quoted as saying: "if it exists in a digital form, you can't stop bits being spread around the internet, and you shouldn't try to."

I'm surprised at the amount of idiots saying how "disappointed" they are with Leo. The Gawker article is as inane as saying something like: "Shock, horror: Leo Laporte discovered to have a penis! Lock up yer' wives and daughters!". I wouldn't have even mentioned it here, but I now finally have a god-damn reason to blog this song by George Michael. I have been itching for a reason for years, because I think it's the only song in existence where the lyrics describe the programming language, Java, as being "sexy". Don't be alarmed by the video. It's full of debauchery, and Michael appears to be hooked up to all kinds of pipes and machines, but enough about his recent tracheotomy.

Christmas Bonus Video


Nine seconds of classic Fair City crooning. I found this amidst the archives of my unpublished stuff, and I mean't to upload it before the 25th, but what the hell, you're getting it now while we're still within the "12 days of Christmas".

What are the 12 Days of Christmas exactly? I mean, what do they represent? Jesus has been born and will die in 30+ years from now, so what are these 12 days all about? Perhaps it's waiting for the residual giblets and afterbirth to fall out of Mary. Maybe that's what they mean by Little Christmas. Ah Jesus...

Scandalous Euro Notes


     
     
Not sure what the context or agenda is behind these, but I found them here.

Sunday, December 25, 2011

Merry Christmas


 In Soviet Russia: rocketships!


Merry Christmas to all the people reading this, and a Moderate Christmas to all those who are not. I shall be tucking into the turkey later [much later actually, as I am writing this days in advance, but sssh, that's ruining the magic of the moment!]

I hope you got a load of nice stuff, and did not receive the AIDS. Santa hands that out to the bad boys & girls, you know. Remember to always put a condom on the end of your candy cane, and make sure the eggnog is fresh before you dip your tongue.... Christ.

Ok so, yeah. Anyway, here is some Christmas music for you. Perhaps not Christmas music in the traditional sense, but it's Christmas for me. Mussorgsky's "Great Gate of Kiev" from his "Pictures at an Exhibition" suite. It's played here in it's original piano form by Belfast born pianist, Barry Douglas. I've heard a lot of stale mechanical versions of this piece, but Douglas's physical enthusiasm for the work just unlocks the music's brilliance. Douglas, along with all his other accolades, is now a professor at the Dublin Institute of Technology.


What else... hmmm... I hope to get around to doing individual Christmas greetings to everyone I know online, in some sort of personal-impersonal way via the Twitter's, Googly Pluses, or email. I wanted to send out some cards this year, but some of those online people are tricky with their addresses, and I was too busy to stalk and do a Magnum PI on them during the year.

Oh yes, I nearly forgot! 20 years ago today, the flag of the Soviet Union was lowered for the final time over the Kremlin as the USSR was officially disolved, after 69 years. Also, the Cyrillic writing on the picture above is actually a New Year's greeting in Russian, as the Atheist state of the USSR didn't recognise the Christian significance of Christmas. All good things, as they say...

Monday, December 19, 2011

Into Your Rabbit Hole


"I am convinced that everybody in the whole universe is real, except me. My theory is that I am a figment of your imagination"[link]
For more psychadelic free-jive, check out Neal at intoyourheadpodcast.com

Sunday, December 11, 2011

American Psycho




 [ context ]

Look Closer At What You're Not Buying



I was reading a post entitled "Body Image" over at The Hacker Factor Blog yesterday, outlining some research they had done on the use of "virtual" models on the H&M website to display the clothes they have for sale. Models faces pasted on to bodies with "virtual" clothes draped over the top. They didn't mention the "Dressing Room" feature at the H&M website, where you can dress up a posed model in any clothes you want, which would have added to their argument. It's an interesting post, you should check it out. I don't necessarily agree that the bodies are CGI though, but models have definitely been turned into constituent body parts.

It reminded me of a similar bit of fakery I noticed was being used on some clothing websites. The two images above are not "real". Not only have the models been airbrused (in the case of Jennifer Lamiraqui her skin has been so smudged that she no longer resembles a human being) but their clothing has been given a colourising hatchet job. Have a look.


You can clearly see how in each image, the fabric was altered, post-photo shoot. The procedure isn't so shocking as the poor execution. Total slops in troughs stuff.

And finally, you may be asking why I was looking at high resolution imagery of women in lingerie in the first place. Well isn't it obvious? I'm looking to find a Christmas present for my mother...

Original images [imagebam] [imagevenue]

Game On! TWiT


The preliminary "beta" episode of Game On! after this evening's #TWiT was a lot of fun. Great pre-show banter and antics between hosts +Veronica Belmont and +Brian Brushwood =)

plus.google.com/.../MVFiymTJ1om


And now a video burst video I made from all the screen captures I took.

I MET A STRONG DEVIL!


Apparently Rick Perry uploaded a video that is more hated than Rebecca Black's "Friday"! I honestly never thought that record of dislikes would ever be beaten. If you haven't actually watched the video yet, try the one above by nitro2k01, it sums it up nicely.

Friday, December 09, 2011

Miniature Obama Wearing Luftwaffe Tunic, No Pants



[ ebay listing ]

19th Century Garmisch-Partenkirchen




Larger Versions: [academic.ru] First image: painting by [ Anton Doll ]

TELEX - Moscow Discow

TELEX once represented Belgium in the Eurovision Song Contest, but they were told that their use of vocoder was "illegal", so they sang the song without any effects. This is not that song.

Monday, December 05, 2011

Holes In The Euro


I decided to publish this on "Budget Day", or part 1 of budget day anyway. Forwhatever reason they are dragging this fucking thing out like it's the xFactor or a Harry Potter film. Two for the price of one, and all that shite. Anyway, as I already mentioned on Google+...
"The #Euro is falling apart, and I just found holes in a €50 note in my back pocket. This perforated € pattern in the hologram is of course a deliberate security feature.
You can see a €50 note up on my cheapo Lidl microscope, with the light source shining through the holes in the hologram. In the background is my laptop with the output from the usb camera (which, thanks to Linux's magic drivers, is now working again) displayed on the screen. This is the image below at 40x magnification.


Nothing too exciting here with this of course. No secret messages or masonic symbols, but I'm still searching.

"Mischief" - Pietro Torrini


"The man in the first painting appears to be about to insert a large needle into the woman’s head. Obviously, after years of bitterness, he has become sick of their loveless marriage. Perhaps he will make it a murder/suicide, or perhaps he will live out his few remaining years, living alone in a cave, wasting away as the metastatic cancer gobbles him up. Ignorant of his existence, a blue planet orbits a dying sun."
GammagoblinDecember 2, 2011 at 1:00 pm
A Happy Post ]

North Korea Ballet


A couple of weeks ago, I searched youtube for "North Korean Ballet". Not really sure why, just being random I suppose, and I came across the video above.

It's quite a strange collection of stuff, but it's an amazingly tight performance. I guess that's to be expected, given where it's being performed. Tappa, tappa, tappa....


Sunday, December 04, 2011

Freddie Hitler: The REAL Mr. Bad Guy



Let's go chasing rainbows in the sky...

Saturday, December 03, 2011

Thursday, December 01, 2011

Steve Jobs: Flashing Your EPROMs



Further to achieving an amusing epileptic seisure, you can try blinking your eyes at the right frequency to show one picture or the other. Having just discovered this magic, I might investigate it further. It might make for an interesting "secret message thing" using two noise patterns, like you get with those stereoscopic image things. Or not.
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