DPRK Unha-3: Place Your Bets

As North Korea readies itself for a much hyped "long range rocket" launch, other nuclear powers are getting all testy over it. North Korean authorities say the purpose of the "Unha-3" (Milkyway 3) rocket launch, is to put an imaging satellite, "Kvanmenson-3" (Bright Star 3), into sun-synchronous orbit. Other nations, such as the USA and South Korea claim that this launch is nothing but an insidious scheme to test out the capabilities of a long range nuclear strike. And now there's speculation that North Korea are also preparing a nuclear detonation test soon. It's obvious that North Korea wants to take over the world, by utilising it's evil powers of rockets, poverty, and famine.



There's a lot of descenting voices to this rocket launch, with plenty of talk about "shooting it down", Japan being the latest to add it's spake in. I wonder if Paddy Power is giving odds on what's going to happen at launch. I see the following scenarios:

1) A successful launch and deployment.
2) Rocket fails to ignite.
3) Rocket blows up.
4) Rocket launches and drastically veers off course, crash landing near by.
5) Rocket launches, South Korea shoots it down
6) Rocket launches, Japan shoots it down.
7) Rocket launches, America shoots it down.
8) Rocket launches, and carries a small nuclear payload, accidentally veers off course from Seoul, and lands in Israel.

Here's what I don't get though. America has removed it's humanitarian aid (snack bars) to famine stricken North Korea because they are going ahead with the launch. How can it be humanitarian aid, if they are attaching political conditions to it? What kind of twisted morals are these, to say: "So we've been forced to suspend our activities to provide nutritional assistance to North Korea,". If North Korean civilians needed food aid enough to warrant Barry Obama making a big deal out of it in the first place, then they will still need it after their government launches the rocket. Just who are they trying to punish here? They are probably utilising the same morals they used when they imposed the international trade sanctions on North Korea, causing the problems in the first place.


The future North Korean space aggressor! A space-commander being trained on a high-tech military simulator. One day, he will drive his doom-tractor across your country, to devour all your energy bars.


[ images via Futubra ]