The United States' May Drop Kim Kardashian's Ass On Iran
America is currently spending tens of millions of dollars on developing a bomb that is capable of penetrating and destroying Iranian nuclear facilities deep within the country's mountain ranges [wsj.com]. A nuclear strike would of course be more than enough to do the job, but even unscrupulous America would be incapable of delivering such a ironic plan as to use nuclear warfare to stop a hypothesised nuclear war, so they set Boeing the task of developing a large conventional bomb to do the task. Now a new radical new idea has sprung forth from the crazy minds of US' military R&D*: they plan to turn Kim Kardashian's buttocks into a Massive Ordnance Penetrator.
The military scientists believe that due to the size and consistency of the celebrities rear (denser than Plutonium), a drop from above the stratosphere would result in a 50 megaton explosion and an impact creator 2 miles in diameter. Tests are currently being run to see if there is a risk of nuclear fallout being released from the Kardashian device. They say there is a small chance of a toxic release on the way down.
Iranian president gave a chilling reply to the news of Americas developement of this new biological weapon. Aparently goading the United States' into war, he is on the record as saying: "Do it! Drop dat ass".
*Rear-search and Development
Posted at 22:40