Thomas Gear, here...
"Thomas Gear, here..." That's what he says. Every time #vinb takes an ad-break, he's there, lusting after "unwanted gold", whatever the hell "unwanted gold means. "I'll do ye the privilege of taking that unwanted gold off yer hands, me boy". Whenever he pops up on screen I can't help but think of Fagin out of Oliver Twist. You know he's the type that would suck the metal fillings out of your head if he though he could smelt them down into something valuable.
Even though I don't watch much television these days, not even Vincent Browne, I can't get away from Thomas Gear because they have ads on the radio now too. It's always the same: "Thomas Gear here...", "Thomas Gear, here..." he proclaims himself as if he's the fucking president. Every drug addict must surely be hearing the same thing "Thomas [get your] Gear here" and when the ad comes on it's like some kind of call to burglar-Jihad. The only people who have "unwanted gold" are the people whom the gold doesn't belong to. Thomas Gear will take "unwanted gold" and turn it into "instant cash"; with an offer like that, who wouldn't be digging up their dead granny and whipping the gold teeth out of her skull.
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2 comments:
nice job! - i did make the gear connection when I saw this classless ad
they better sell the gold before people start to swap it for medicine and water when the zombies arrive! (should be soon)
I keep hearing that gold prices are going to drop off a cliff, I'm surprised we don't hear this in the ads:
"Gold prices are at an all time high. It can't last forever, you know. Remember the housing bubble? Yes indeed! Offload your overprised gold now, to Thomas Gear here, before it's not worth the skid marks on the inside of a toilet bowl."
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