Thomas Gear, here...
"Thomas Gear, here..." That's what he says. Every time #vinb takes an ad-break, he's there, lusting after "unwanted gold", whatever the hell "unwanted gold means. "I'll do ye the privilege of taking that unwanted gold off yer hands, me boy". Whenever he pops up on screen I can't help but think of Fagin out of Oliver Twist. You know he's the type that would suck the metal fillings out of your head if he though he could smelt them down into something valuable.
Even though I don't watch much television these days, not even Vincent Browne, I can't get away from Thomas Gear because they have ads on the radio now too. It's always the same: "Thomas Gear here...", "Thomas Gear, here..." he proclaims himself as if he's the fucking president. Every drug addict must surely be hearing the same thing "Thomas [get your] Gear here" and when the ad comes on it's like some kind of call to burglar-Jihad. The only people who have "unwanted gold" are the people whom the gold doesn't belong to. Thomas Gear will take "unwanted gold" and turn it into "instant cash"; with an offer like that, who wouldn't be digging up their dead granny and whipping the gold teeth out of her skull.
Posted at 20:25