The Great Zion Dance-Off

Now that Israel is lobbing bombs at itself once again, it's time to bring up the topic of Zionism, and what better way to settle this debate than by having two Christian clerics do battle through dance.



In the left corner, we have Ireland's pride, (ex) priest, Neal Horan [wiki]. Noted for destroying Olympic Marathons, and Formula One races, he also manages to bring an impressive level of subliminal-transexuality to his dance routines. Having written many books on the topic of how "the children of Israel will be the salvation of mankind", he is representing the pro-Zionism side.



In the other corner, representing anti-Zionism, with have Jew turned Orthodox brother, Nathanael Kapner [brothernathanaelfoundation.org]. Once described by a correspondent as "The Orthodox Max Keiser", Brother Nathanael likes to produce charismatic Youtube videos telling us how the Jews are in control of everything, and that only Vladamir Putin can save us from the tyranny of Zion.

Since we are deciding the great Zion debate by dance alone, we had better dissect each dancers moves. Horan gives us a feeble attempt at some Irish dancing. Dressed in a dirty orange tennis skirt, he hopes to win pervert points by giving us glimpses of his green underpants... nil point from all judges. His routine and technique are equally atrocious.  He looks like a man trying to inflate a tyre while standing on a greasy merry-go-round. Brother Nathanael on the other hand pulls out all kinds of freestyle moves, which are described by Irish youths in the video, as the "Matrix shit". The brother also looks an impressive sight with his black robes, Christian props, and clip-on flashing lights. He looks like he's on his way to an apocalyptic rave party.

There is no doubt about it, on dance alone, anti-Zionism wins the day. Zion fans shouldn't fret though, the next contest will involve proficiency of surgical air-strikes, and Israel is already in fine form. One of the most impressive strikes I've ever seen [youtube].